


7 Scientifically Proven Ways to Make Yook Sungjae Fall for Me

by eunkwangeee



Category: BTOB
Genre: Dormmates AU, I may include other BTOB members if I feel like it lol, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-10-02
Packaged: 2019-07-10 23:30:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15959861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eunkwangeee/pseuds/eunkwangeee
Summary: He's been harboring this cute little crush on the younger for a year already and Changsub just had enough. He's tired being stagnant on the friend zone so he decided to find a way to make Yook Sungjae finally notice him, in a romantic kind of way, of course.





	1. TIP #1

**Author's Note:**

> Quick info on how I came up with this story. I was busy browsing the internet when I came across a rather interesting article (pls dont ask why or how I ended up reading that lol) and I thought... hmm why not make this a Changjae oneshot? And since I suck at making oneshots, I "accidentally" made this a chaptered fic lol. So that's that haha. Please excuse my grammar mistakes and bad comma placement! I hope y'all enjoy reading!

Lee Changsub, 23, third year, Theater Arts major, and currently having an intense long overdue crush on his dormmate who is Yook Sungjae, 21, second year, currently taking up Marine Biology, and the most gorgeous man he has ever laid his eyes on.  
  
They've been dormmates for a year already and during those times, they've somehow became quite good friends. It all started when Changsub, being the reliable person that he is, helped Sungjae get familiar with their University when the other was still a freshman, and the rest is history. At first, Changsub thought that he couldn't be friends with the younger because there's this cold and arrogant aura surrounding Sungjae, not to mention that he's also filthy rich. Changsub has this belief that only rich people can befriend rich people, but thankfully, Sungjae debunked that stupid belief of him.  
  
Yook Sungjae is Changsub's definition of a perfect guyㅡ tall, devilishly handsome, smart, smells heavenly, kind, cold but once he opens up to you, he can be the most genial person ever.  
  
Sungjae never hesitates to help those who are in need. (re: Changsub) He's always willing to lend money whenever the older was short on budget. The younger also shares his food with him eventhough he keeps on politely rejecting him. Changsub believes that food is precious when you're living the dorm life and to share it with someone is such a dumb move but Sungjae obviously thinks otherwise. He also never thinks twice and just let Changsub borrow his laptop and printer whenever he needs it, saying it's no big deal and he can use it anytime he wants.  
  
There are still many more good things Sungjae has done to him and it'll take him forever if he enumerates them all. Bottomline is, Changsub wants to marry Yook Sungjae already, or just become his boyfriend, if marriage is too much to ask. It's impossible to not develop feelings to someone as kind and good looking as him. He's been harboring this cute little crush on the younger for a year already and Changsub just had enough. He's tired being stagnant on the friend zone so he decided to find a way to make Yook Sungjae finally notice him, in a romantic kind of way, of course.  
  
That's when he saw the goddamn article. Changsub was skeptical about it at first, thinking that it was a bad idea and it will never work, but one look at the man who is sitting accross him, reading a book about tortoises, looking effortlessly gorgeous as ever, quickly made up his hesitant mind.  
  
He immediately goes over his bedside table and takes a small notebook and his favorite shining shimmering blue pen. There he excitedly writes:  
  
**7 Scientifically Proven Ways to Make Yook Sungjae Fall for Me.**

***

Changsub looks at his notes once again while nervously biting his lips. Today is the start of his journey to make Sungjae fall for him. He planned everything the night before, and he decided to do it one step at a time. He doesn't want to shock the younger because he found him aggressive. No, he needs to do it slowly but surely. Slow yet steady.  
  
Changsub reads the first tip.  
  
**Tip #1.** **Use your body language**  
_\- Before you even say a word to him, signal your interest with subtle, non-verbal clues using your body language._  
  
He has to use actions to express his feelings instead of words? That's pretty easy. He's been doing it for quite a while! He thinks he can nail this one perfectly.  
  
_Okay! Let's get it on!_  
  
Changsub confidently makes his way towards Sungjae, who is busy preparing his things for his first subject this morning. Once he's settled on the younger's bed, Changsub clears his throat to get the other's attention.  
  
"Good morning, Sungjae." He greets him sweetly while batting his eyelashes in a slow, flirtatious manner.  
  
"Morning, Changsub hyung." Sungjae smiles at him quickly while stuffing his bag some thick books. "You don't have classes today?"  
  
"I have, but not until 1:00 pm." He reaches for one of the younger's book and hands it over to him. "Here, Sungjae."  
  
He's still smiling sweetly at the younger, but his eyes are already getting tired from all the nonstop batting. The younger seems to notice his constant blinking because he's now giving him a worried look, but Changsub's not someone who gives up easily.  
  
_Now that I got your complete attention..._  
  
Changsub stands up from the bed and slowly makes his way beside Sungjae, who is just looking at him with his hands inside the pocket of his pants, brows furrowed, and a confused gaze pooling on his orbs.  
  
"Sungjae, what do you want to eat for dinner?" He said in the most sweetest voice he could muster while leaning his whole body towards the younger, making sure their skins touch. "Let me treat you later. I'll cook for you."  
  
Changsub leans closer to Sungjae, his face now on the younger's shoulder. He keeps the batting of his eyelashes going, his hopeful smile never faltering. Sungjae on the other hand, looks perplexed more than ever. Changsub sees the little worry on the other man's eyes and he wonders why. He tries to get his face a little closer and that's when Sungjae took a step back away from him.  
  
It all happened too fast. One second Changsub was leaning on Sungjae's sturdy frame, the next second he was stumbling down on the cemented floor. He lets out a painful groan when he felt his elbow scrape the floor.  
  
"Changsub hyung! Are you okay? Let me see!" Sungjae squats down as he worriedly inspects Changsub's wounded elbow. "It's bleeding. We need to go to the clinic quickly!"  
  
"Why did you do that? Ah, fuck it stings!" He looks at his bleeding right elbow and watched as tiny bits of blood make their way down on his skin. He doesn't like the sight of blood, it makes him slightly dizzy.  
  
"I'm sorry. It's because you're leaning way too close." Sungjae is now dabbing his clean handkerchief on his bleeding elbow carefully while blowing air against it softly. "Are you drunk? Don't you think it's too early to drink, hyung?"  
  
"What?!" Changsub can't believe his ears. _Did Sungjae justㅡ_  "Do I look drunk to you?"  
  
"Your eyes keep on drooping, your speech is kinda slurred and your balance is not steady." Sungjae enumerates as he helped him stand up from the floor and made him sit on his bed. He gets the first aid kit in the bathroom and then proceeds to treat his wounds as carefully as possible. All those times, Changsub is busy evaluating his recent life choices. "When you leaned closer, I thought you're gonna vomit on me so I moved away."  
  
_What. The. Actual. Fuck._  
  
"I'm not drunk, though?" He tries to save himself from the embarrassment but his voice came out so small he thinks Sungjae didn't even catch it.  
  
Changsub feels all the blood rushing to his face now. _What the hell did I just do?_ He cannot believe himself. What, he just looks drunk when in fact he's trying to be flirty? There goes his flirting abilities flying out of the window. He really has zero appeal, huh? Sungjae must've felt totally weirded out by him. He can't take this anymore. He needs time to be alone to wallow in his misseries.  
  
"There, done." Changsub didn't even notice that Sungjae has finished disinfecting his wounds and now tugging his arms to stand up. "Let's go to the clinic to give it proper medication."  
  
_Sorry but I can't face you right now, Sungjae. My stupidity is killing me at the moment._  
  
"Ah, no need." He gently pushed the other away, eyes looking everywhere but Sungjae. "I can do that on my own. You can go now. You'll be late. Thanks for uhm... cleaning my mess."  
  
"It's alright, I still have time. Let's go hyuㅡ"  
  
"I'm fine." He quickly glances at the other and reassuringly smiles at him as his hands wave in the air dismissively. _Come on. Just go. Please._ "You don't need to do this, Sungjae. Go now, you'll be late."  
  
"Butㅡ"  
  
"I'm fine," Changsub is beginning to feel dizzy, but not from his fear of blood, but from the embarassment that is himself. "Really fine. You'll be really late if you still don't leave."  
  
"Be sure to go to the clinic, okay?"  
  
"Yeah, I will."  
  
Sungjae looks at him worriedly one last time, shrugs his shoulders off, and picks his bag up. He bids him good bye and closes the door after he left.  
  
"That was fucking embarrassing!"  
  
Changsub covers his face with his hands and lets out a frustrated shriek. He will never do that anymore. He will never attempt to flirt again even if his life depended on it.  
  
He'll just remain single forever.


	2. TIP #2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: no fish was harmed in making this chapter lmao kidding. enjoy reading!! ❤

Of course Changsub was just kidding when he said he will never flirt again. After a week of wallowing in self pity, he decided to keep on going with his plan. He guessed he can't give up his feelings for Sungjae that easily. He told himself that it was just the first step, there are still plenty of steps for him to try and make up for. He should learn to be patient. He remembered what his mother told him when he was a kid: Not every goal is achieved on the first try.  
  
_You're doing great, self. Keep the positivity going._  
  
This time, he promised to himself that he will not make stupid mistakes again and things will go out smoothly as planned.  
  
**Tip #2.** **Be a copy-cat**  
_\- If you’re meeting him for the first time, use the “chameleon effect”: mirroring movements and gestures shows you’re interested._  
  
This isn't his first time to meet Sungjae, but he'll still go on with this tip. He thinks it's a good way to make Sungjae notice how many things they have in common. Because according to the article, similarity to a person is another important factor in attraction. We like people who are similar to ourselves.  
  
So during his free time, Changsub made himself busy with watching marine documentaries and reading all about the marine life. He tried really hard to memorize the names, including the scientific names, of all the species that piqued his interest. He did fall asleep a few times to be honest, some documentaries are boring as shit, but thankfully he finished all of them. He will do anything for the love of his life, even learning how whales sleep in the ocean.  
  
Speaking of Sungjae, they are now comfortably eating inside Subway, the younger insisted on treating him because of that unfortunate incident last week. Sungjae thought that it's his fault why the older got hurt. Just who is he to miss this sudden oppurtunity, right? So he accepted the younger's offer right away. Eventhough Changsub wants to bury that memory in the darkest part of his brain, he couldn't help but feel a little thankful to his failed flirting skills because now, he's having a _date_ with Sungjae.  
  
Changsub quickly takes a bite of his classic tuna sandwich when he saw Sungjae took a bite of his own roast beef sandwich. _Mirroring movements_. He also puts down his sandwich at the same time as Sungjae. He hopes the younger will notice this little "synchronized moments" and find it rather interesting.  
  
"You know what, Sungjae," Changsub begins the conversation. "I'm into watching documentaries about sea creatures these days."  
  
"Really?" Sungjae's eyes widen, excitement shining in his orbs. "What documentaries did you watch?"  
  
"I've seen NatGeo's Deep Sea Creatures last night." he answers matter-of-factly, feeling proud as he licks his finger. "That shit is awesome! I really learned a lot while watching it."  
  
Changsub watches as the younger vigorously nods his head in agreement while smiling at him excitedly. He matches Sungjae's grin, allowing him to think that he's interested in the subject just as much as him. In that way, the other will know that Changsub also likes and enjoy something that he's religously interested in.  
  
"It's cool, right?" Sungjae agrees, his grin getting wider in the process. "Sea creatures are nice, but deep down the ocean is where the real fun lies! What is your favorite deep sea creature, hyung?"  
  
Changsub smirks. He's been waiting for this moment to arrive. He came fully prepared for this battle. He wouldn't waste his time watching those documentaries for nothing.  
  
"Of course!" He flips his hair as he pridefully holds his chin up. "My favorite is the _Fangfoot_ fish! It's scary if you look at it at first but it's really, really harmless! What can a tiny 16cm fish do to you, right?"  
  
_Ha! Look at his face! He's totally impressed with your deep sea knowledge, Changsub-ah. Here, here, let me pat you in the back. You're doing amazing, self. Keep it up._  
  
Changsub watches as Sungjae's gaze goes from shocked to confused to amused in just a matter of seconds. He's feeling immensely proud of himself at first, but he's doubting himself more and more now as time passes by. Sungjae's still not saying anything and just looks like he's suppressing his laughter or something.  
  
Changsub tries again.  
  
"You know, that ugly fish with scary fang-like teeth?" He describes to the younger as he hooks his two pointing-fingers on his mouth to create a very appealing visual of a fish with fangs. "They look something like this."  
  
"Yeah, they do look like that." Sungjae loudly chuckles as he sips his soda. "You look exactly like one now, hyung."  
  
_Why is he laughing like that?_  
  
Changsub feels that their connection earlier is somewhat disappearing so he tries to save it again.  
  
"I even memorized its scientific name!" he exclaims as he raised one of his fingers in the air.  
  
"Really?" Sungjae crosses his arms over his chest as he sits back on his chair, his eyes still looking as amused as ever. "Can you tell me its scientific name?"  
  
_Easy._  
  
" _Fangfoot's_ scientific name is _Analprostatedae_." He confidently answers. He hears Sungjae chuckle so he brags about his knowledge a little more. "It belongs to the Kingdom of Animalia, Phylum of Chordata, Class of Actinopterygii, and Order of Beryciformes."  
  
"Wow Changsub hyung! You even knew all of that?" From looking amused, the younger's eyes turned big, shock and amazement reflecting on it.  
  
"Of course!" Changsub proudly pats his chest as he grins back at the younger. "I told you I really like _Fangfoot_ fish. I can even keep it as a pet because I think I have fallen in love with it."  
  
If Sungjae was suppressing his laughter a while ago, now he decided to not hold it back anymore. Changsub's jaw drops as he looks at Sungjae who's starting to laugh his ass off, his head's thrown backwards as he clutches his stomach for support, eyes glistening with useless tears for laughing too much, his loud laughter is even resonating inside the quiet food chain. Few customers are even curiously glancing at them, maybe finding them nuts or irritating or something along those lines.  
  
"Hey, what's so funny?" Changsub bites his lips as he tries to laugh along with the younger, finding Sungjae's laughter contagious as hell. "People are looking at us, you dumbo."  
  
He waits a little more as Sungjae calms down from his high. The younger's still chuckling every now and then as he tries to wipe the tears in his eyes. He takes a sip from his soda as he looks at Changsub with that heart-fluttering smile of his that makes his insides ramble in utter chaos.  
  
"You're so cute, Changsub hyung." Sungjae compliments him while still chuckling. Changsub feels the heat shot up to his face immediately. "Thank you for making me laugh tonight. Ah, I haven't laugh like this in a while. I appreciate your joke, hyung. Your humor is my style."  
  
_What?_  
  
_Joke?_  
  
_WHAT JOKE?_  
  
All the color on Changsub's face seem to go down the drain. The heat he felt just now turned into a familiar gush of cold. His heartbeat is getting slower and slower by the minute. He had felt this thing before and now he's feeling it all over again.  
  
The feeling of total embarrassment is creeping up on his whole being again, and it came back stronger than ever.  
  
"Ah, haha!" he tries to laugh as he internally shakes all of his nervousness off. "W-well, I'm n-noㅡ"  
  
"Imagine, from _Fangtooth_ fish to _Fangfoot_ fish? Ah! Genius!" Sungjae even taps their table numerous times as his unstoppable laughter gets to him again. "Really genius!"  
  
So his dreaded scenario came true. He just confidently said the wrong name to Sungjaeㅡ a Marine Biologist in the makingㅡ like he's the one who discovered that ugly fish. Changsub feels cold beads of sweat started forming on his forehead as he bites his lower lip hard, hands nervously fiddling the hem of his shirt as he tries to smile at Sungjae's direction. He's quite sure his smile came out like he's constipated or something.  
  
"Actually, t-that wasn't a joㅡ"  
  
"And from _Anoplogastridae_ to _Analprostatedae?_  Simply hilarious!" Changsub sinks on his seat as he watch Sungjae turns blue because of laughing too much again. "Anal? Prostate? Changsub hyung you're the best!"  
  
"Uhh, right." is all that he can say. Sungjae is way over the clouds now to even explain that he wasn't joking and he just made a stupid mistake, again.  
  
Changsub scratches the back of his head as he takes a bite of his now cold tuna sandwich. He tries his best to not let a frown escape his lips. Now, Sungjae will realize that they really have nothing in common as he fails to boast his knowledge on the marine life. He will only see him as a joke from now on.  
  
_Argh! Way to impress your crush, Lee Changsub!_  
  
"We can watch marine documentaries together if you like, Changsub hyung."  
  
Because of his pathetic self-pitying, Changsub didn't catch Sungjae's pleasant invitation at all.


	3. TIP #3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello guys lmao. i hope y'all will like this update hehe. enjoy reading!! ❤
> 
> ps: i really, really, really like btob blue's when it rains //winks

It took almost a week to heal Changsub's wounded pride. It was hard at first. Imagine him flinching and getting emotional at the sight of anything seafood. Damn that _Fangtooth_ fish! There's also this one night where he was even crying when Sungjae brought spicy seafood stew for their dinner.  
  
"Is there something wrong, Changsub hyung?" Sungjae inquired, worry evident in his tone. "Are you crying?"  
  
"No, no." Changsub laughed nervously while politely dismissing the younger. "T-This stew is just... too spicy for me. Don't worry, I can manage. Thank you for the dinner, Sungjae. I'll eat well!"  
  
"Is that so?" The younger took a sip on his own stew and then proceeded to smile at him. "I'll tell the vendor ahjumma to not make this too spicy next time."  
  
Changsub was touched at how considerate the younger is which resulted in him tearing up again while he stuffed his mouth some more squids and shrimps. He felt like an idiot crying over some stupid stew, but the catch here is Sungjae mentioned that there'll be a next time, and that definitely made him happy and alive and positive again. It motivated him even more to continue his ultimate plan to make Yook Sungjae fall for him.

***

People say that third time's the charm, and Changsub is quick to establish that as his motto in life. Maybe this time is really the time. Maybe he'll not embarrass himself anymore and he can actually execute all of his plans perfectly. Maybe Sungjae will notice him, finally.  
  
**Tip #3. Keep him close by**  
_\- The more you see each other, the more likely you are to fall for him, and him for you! But, no, please don’t stalk him._  
  
_Wait, is it still called stalking if I know all of Sungjae's schedule?_  
  
Please don't judge him yet. He knew the younger's schedule because Sungjae has this big white board framed on their dorm wall where he lists all of his everyday classes, breaks, lab hours, and even seminars that he'll attend. Changsub admits on peeking at it once in a while, but never did he use that knowledge to stalk Sungjae, not even once, because their schedules just don't match up, and because their buildings are literally worlds apart. The only time he can see the younger is when they're both inside their shared dorm.  
  
That's when Changsub realized that Sungjae definitely needs to see him outside the four corners of their room. The other needs to see him as a cool university sunbae and not just a stressed and almost dead dormmate. Sungjae needs to see him walking down the hallways of their University while the morning rays of the sun hits his pale skin perfectly. He needs to be a constant sight in Sungjae's everyday college life so that the younger will get used to his presence.  
  
_Ain't I just smart? Keep it going, self._  
  
So that's what he's exactly been doing for a couple of weeks nowㅡ appearing in front of the Science Building's cafeteria during the younger's break, hanging around the library eventhough the books there have nothing to do with his major, passing by their laboratory in case he might see Sungjae in a lab coat, and lastly, even going to the Science Building's gate whenever his classes end to wait for Sungjae so they could go home together. He's doing all of that eventhough he has to run from one building to another and not even once did he see a certain tall, dark haired, arrogantly handsome guy.  
  
Now, Changsub is wondering if they really go to the same University because he just couldn't take a glimpse of Sungjae inside their campus.  
  
Just like now.  
  
It's a gloomy friday afternoon and Changsub is still hopefully waiting for Sungjae at the Science Building's gate so they can go home together. He's actually been waiting there for an hour already and if he remembers it correctly, Sungjae's classes should've ended half an hour ago. Changsub impatiently looks inside the building, and then at the angry sky that's threatening to release heavy rains any minute now. There are still no traces of Sungjae and he's losing his last bits of hope. He helplessly sighs. If he waits for another minute, the rain might start to fall and he should absolutely go home now because he didn't bring an umbrella.  
  
_But what if Sungjae comes out the moment I go home? I don't wanna miss that._  
  
_Come on, you should know your priorities, Lee Changsub!_  
  
_Fine, fine. I'll wait a little bit more._  
  
And just like in the movies, a strong gush of wind came, a loud thunder boomed, and then heavy rains started to fall. Changsub looks up and curses the dark clouds. What the hell is this? He feels like even the sky doesn't want him to succeed in his plans. Is going home with the younger too much to ask? Is someone up there playing a prank on him? Sungjae is nowhere near his sight, It's storming real hard, he doesn't have an umbrella, and his dorm is on the other side of the campus. If this isn't the universe conspiring against him then he doesn't know what is.  
  
"Lee Changsub, you had the time to check Sungjae's whole schedule," Changsub puts a hand on his hips as he reprimands himself. "Next time, might as well check the fucking weather too, alright?"  
  
_When is Sungjae coming out? Where the hell is he even?_  
  
_Oh my god!_  
  
_What if he's not real? What if he's just a product of my imagination? What if he's just a friendly ghost in the dorm I live in?_  
  
He shakes his head as he snorts at his thoughts. He's being crazy again. Maybe today isn't really the day. Maybe tip #3 just works with everyone but not him. Maybe Sungjae will only know him as his stressed and almost dead dormmate and nothing more. He heaves a deep sigh. With one last look inside their University's Science Building, he decides to bravely brace the angry storm and just go home. There's totally nothing he can do now.  
  
_Another day, another fail. Don't keep this up, self._  
  
He swiftly zips his jacket up, covers his head properly with his hoodie while making sure he securely ties the hoodie strings around his face, and then he silently prays that his futile attempt in protecting himself against the storm may help him not catch a cold.  
  
Changsub is ready to dash his way across their campus when a hand suddenly grabs his arm. Its grip is so strong that it made him lose his balance so he slightly stumbled backwards. The only good thing about it is he fell on something really sturdy, and comfortably warm.  
  
"Don't tell me you'll walk through that storm without an umbrella?"  
  
"Yes, I will. I'm a fast runner." Changsub steadies himself first before he looks back to see his rude intruder. "If you don't mind, I really need toㅡ Yook Sungjae?!"  
  
To say that he's shocked is an understatement. Why is Yook Sungjae appearing in front of him all of a sudden? What sorcery is this?  
  
"What are you doing here?" he wonders rather loudly, and a tad bit demanding. "Why are you here?"  
  
"What," Sungjae answers him back with a confused knot on his forehead while chuckling softly. "I happened to have classes here. I should be asking you that, hyung. Why are _you_ here?"  
  
Changsub may look calm and collected on the outside, but he's already digging his own grave in his mind. He's panicking really hard and he can literally see his subconcious shaking its head with a disapproving look on its face right now. He definitely can't tell Sungjae that he's been waiting for him since an hour ago because he was his crush and he wants them to go home together and he badly wants to build a family with him. He just can't.  
  
"I, uhm, I was just..." He looks down the floor, eyes darting everywhere as he tries to find an alibi. _Fuck it._ "I was just admiring... the pebbles here in your building. I love pebbles! They're so tiny... and... useless."  
  
"The pebbles?" The younger looks down on his feet for a moment, and then back up at him. "You don't have pebbles in the Arts Building?"  
  
"We have," Changsub grimaces while softly kicking the pebbles under his feet. "But the pebbles here in your building are way prettier."  
  
Suddenly, there's a loud clap of thunder after Changsub stated that. It was like god knows that he's spouting lies and he's sending him a warning. Honestly, he'd rather lie than admit everything to Sungjae.  
  
"The rain's getting heavier," his foolish musings gets interrupted when he hears Sungjae's deep voice beside him. "Let's go home now, Changsub hyung."  
  
Changsub nods at Sungjae as he readies himself once again to brace the terrible storm when he suddenly felt an arm wrap around his shoulders. He looks up only to see Sungjae adjusting a small yellow umbrella over their heads.  
  
"I only have one umbrella here," Sungjae warmly smiles at him as the arm around his shoulders tightens its hold. "I hope you don't mind sharing."  
  
All these noise outside surrounding the two of them caused by the raging storm, yet Changsub can only hear the fast beating of his heart, can only see the lovely smile in front of him, and can only feel a certain warm and fuzzy feeling. It's like he's experiencing his own storm inside of him because of Sungjae and it's the only storm that he whole-heartedly wants to experience forever.  
  
"I don't mind sharing the rest of my life with you."  
  
WAIT.  
  
Changsub nervously gasps as he realizes that he just blurted out his supposedly internal thoughts out loud. _Idiot!_ Could Sungjae have possibly heard him?  
  
"I'm sorry, what?" Sungjae places his ear near Changsub's lips. "You're saying something, hyung? It's too loud. I didn't hear you properly."  
  
It took Changsub a couple of seconds to process what Sungjae had just said and when he's finally able to understand it, he released a sigh of relief. He needs to stop being clumsy if he wants to succeed in his ultimate plan.  
  
"Nothing!" He clarifies as he gives the younger a reassuring smile. "I said let's go home now. Quickly!"  
  
Sungjae immediately agrees with him as he adjusts the umbrella over their heads while making sure he has a firm grip of his shoulders. The two of them hurriedly make their way outside, welcoming the strong gush of winds with some lightning and thunder roaring in the background. It sounds chaotic, but one look at the man beside him who resembles a lot like a dependable knight in shining armor right now while holding a bright yellow umbrella, Changsub wouldn't mind walking through another storm if that means he'll be walking with Sungjae with his arms wrapped around him again.  
  
Tip #3? Definitely a fail.  
  
But this unexpected long walk under the rain?  
  
An absolute success.


	4. TIP #4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm making everything too long again skksksjsmsk ㅠㅠ Anyway, here's an update! There's also a new character hehe. Enjoy reading guys ❤

The week after that unexpected stormy day was quite stressful if you ask Changsub about it. Why? It was their Midterm week. Almost all of his professors started being a bitch and required them to pass a shitload of paper works and projects. One from his major even demanded an hour-long play in the middle of their preparation for the exams. He was juggling too many things in his hands he thought he could apply for a position in the carnival near his University. He was actually doubtful if he's still studying or just plainly preparing his future life in hell. The line between studying and dying was so thin that even breathing took him a lot of effort to do.  
  
The only thing that kept him alive was the memory of him and Sungjae sharing an umbrella on their way home together. Whenever he felt like giving up, he only thinks of that particular memory and it literally gives him energy. It fueled his mind and body to keep up and finish all of his works. Eventhough Sungjae and him barely interacted that week, (they were both busy preparing for their respective exams, alright) he still felt like the younger was helping him get through those tough times.  
  
Thanks to that memory, he made it alive from that grueling week. Good news! He passed all of the required paperworks and projects, he was given an unexpectedly high grade from their play, and most importantly, he achieved all the goals he set on himself for his exams. He was proud for working and studying hard. The satisfaction he felt after all of his struggles is really worth it.  
  
_You did well, self._  
  
This clearly means one thing. He needs to celebrate his success, and he needs to do it with his one and only inspiration. The one who (unknowingly) helped him survive the toughest week of his life; Yook Sungjae. Call him dramatic, but he really wouldn't have made it without the younger. Maybe he's just too smitten, or just loosing a few screws on his head. He's certain it's one of those two.  
  
And isn't it the perfect timing to accomplish the 4th tip now that they're quite free from academic responsibilities? He reckons now's the best time to execute his plans.  
  
**Tip #4. Spill the beans**  
_\- Revealing things about who you are can help raise your attractiveness. It creates a closeness to that person, and lets him feel closer to you._  
  
_Oh, so this is what we call the getting-to-know-each-other-deeper stage, huh. Of course, I'll only tell Sungjae things that make me look good. I don't wanna humiliate myself in front of him again._  
  
He chuckles to himself as he happily closes his tiny notebook and then neatly puts it inside his backpack. After making sure that all of his belongings are safe, he finally closes his locker. He's about to proceed outside to buy _the forbidden_ when a muscular arm suddenly grips his shoulder forcefully which made him stop on his tracks.  
  
_Who the fuㅡ_  
  
"Yo, Lee Changsub!" A tanned and insanely attractive guy shouts at his face as he ruffles his already messy hair with his other hand. "Going somewhere?"  
  
He swears he's ready to stab whoever this shouting lunatic is when he realizes that his voice sounds oddly familiar. He raises his head to confirm his suspicions only to realize that yep, he's right.  
  
"Minhyuk hyung! What are you doing here?"  
  
Lee Minhyuk, 24, fourth year, a Veterinarian in the making, a fulltime playboy, and surprise, his cousin. They study in the same University but they rarely hang out due to the major differences in their schedules. Nevertheless, they make sure to update each other's whereabouts often. Minhyuk is someone who he can consider as his best friend.  
  
"I visited a friend in your buildingㅡ"  
  
"Ah, you mean girlfriend?"  
  
"Shut up!" He watches as a slight hue of pink brightens up his cousin's cheeks. _Disgusting_. "This isn't about me, fucker. I saw you reading that tiny notebook of yours again. What are you planning this time?"  
  
Yes, even that thing didn't escape from his cousin's nosiness. Short version of the story? One day, he was reading it on the cafeteria and he didn't have an idea that Minhyuk, being the ninja that he is, was behind him. He was an idiot and the rest is history.  
  
"None of your business, hyung." He quickly dismisses the topic. What does this guy expect, he'll spill his plans out in the open? No freaking way.  
  
"Sub-ah," He hears Minhyuk sigh in frustration. "I already told you to stop this, didn't I? You're just wasting your time. Sungjae's good to you because he's just nice like that. He treats everyone else the same as you. You're not special."  
  
Welp. It's too early to get his heart broken.  
  
Minhyuk never fails to remind him that he's just someone irrelevant in Sungjae's life. He begs to disagree. Yes, Sungjae is nice and kind, but he feels that the younger treats him in a special wayㅡ a way that's only reserved for him. Changsub can feel it in his heart. Minhyuk is just saying that because he never witness how Sungjae acts when he's with him. His cousin doesn't know what he's talking about. Besides, Minhyuk has some sort of issues with the younger that's why he's being persistent on making him stop.  
  
"Hyung, you're just saying that because Sungjae is more popular than you now." He argues back as he takes a step out of the locker room. "You can't change my mind, okay? So give it up."  
  
"This isn't because I'm jealous of his popularity at all!" The older objects as he quickly follows him outside. "I'm concerned about you because you're my cousin. I'll be straightforward here, Sungjae will never like you that way, Sub-ah. Believe me. Please save yourself from any potential heartbreaks."  
  
Honestly? He doesn't need all of these negativities coming from Minhyuk right now. He had already set his goals. If his heart breaks at the end of this journey, then so be it. He'll deal with that later.  
  
As of now, he has a celebration and a plan to fulfill, and he's gonna focus on that.  
  
"Whatever you say, hyung." He puts an end to the topic as he faces his cousin, giving him a forced smile. "I'll go now because I still need to buy something. See you when I see you, Minhyuk hyung."  
  
Changsub sprints his way out of the hands of his cousin. He even faintly hears Minhyuk clucking his tongue in disappointment. Whatever. He will not let anybody ruin his good mood today.

***

Changsub isn't sure if his plans are working properly. Heck, he doesn't even know what's going on right now.  
  
Changsub thinks luck was on his side tonight when Sungjae texted him a while ago, informing him that he bought pizza to celebrate the end of their Midterm week and that he was waiting for Changsub to come home. After hearing that, he straightaway ran as fast as he could. He didn't want to keep Sungjae waiting. He's that whipped.  
  
As soon as he got back to their shared dorm, he excitedly rushed to their living room only to find Sungjae sitting in front of their small coffee table, two boxes of pizza lying neatly on top of it. Changsub's mouth swiftly watered at the sight, but before he made himself look stupid again, he lifted up the paper bag in his hand and took out its contents. He had bought spicy chicken wings (just spicy enough for him, of course) and a few bags of chips. But what made this small feast special is the presence of _the forbidden._  
  
Changsub chuckled as he saw Sungjae's eyes widened in shock as he waves two bottles of Soju in front of the younger. It's strictly prohibited to bring any alcoholic beverages inside their dorm, but he is Lee Changsubㅡ he can find ways he if wants to. Well, the truth is he placed the bottles inside the box of costumes they used during their play. He made sure it was hidden deep down so no one would hear it tinkling. It really was an ingenious move, but please don't try and follow him. Try to be a sane human being, unlike him.  
  
Truth be told, the reason why Changsub bought Soju is because he thinks Tip #4 will go well with a little bit of an alcoholic kick. He wants to know Sungjae more, and vice versa, and this is the only way he thinks the plan will surely work.  
  
Spilling the beans? While having a drink? Sounds like a perfect combo, right?  
  
There's just one tiny little detail that he forgot. He becomes extra when he's drunkㅡ extra clumsy, extra loud, extra talkative, extra carefree, name it, he's all that.  
  
_Whatever. I can manage myself._  
  
Changsub's sitting on the floor beside Sungjae, the bottles of soju have long been emptied. He doesn't know how many secrets have he shared to the younger, but it seems like he couldn't stop himself from talking and sharing every little thing about him that comes to his mind.  
  
"You know, Sungjae, there's also a time when I was dating this guy," Changsub blaringly starts, giggling as he already finds the story funny. "We were both college freshmenㅡ the age when you can't control your hormones and you're horny 24/7. You know the feeling, right?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Anyway, we were at some party that one of our classmates threw. We were drunk as hell, and we're making out in the middle of the kitchen. It was getting pretty intense when I suddenly, HAHAHAHAHA!"  
  
"Hey, stop laughing!" Sungjae cutely whines as he slaps his arm. "What happened?"  
  
"I suddenly," He abruptly stops laughing as he looks Sungjae directly in the eyes. "I tasted something sour in my mouth. That fucker! He puked inside my mouth! I even swallowed some, mind you! The kitchen became such a mess! You wouldn't wanna imagine what it smelled like! We didn't finish what we're supposed to do, instead we cleaned his puke!"  
  
Changsub is rolling on the floor. That memory never fails to make him hyterically laugh. He looks at the younger's direction, and let's just say that he will never forget how disgusted Sungjae looked that night.  
  
After some time, they're both laughing their asses off again. Changsub already forgot why they are laughing but everything just seems so funny to him. One thing he learned about the younger tonight is he knows a lot of fish jokes, which isn't really surprising at all. What bothers him is that it's the only kind of joke Sungjae knows.  
  
And he doesn't find it funny at all.  
  
"I have another one, hyung!" Sungjae eagerly says for the nth time that night. "What do you call a fish with no eye?"  
  
_Lord._ "What?"  
  
"It's called... Fssshh!" Changsub gasps as he feels the younger's hand hits his right arm, and it quite hurts. "You get that, Changsub hyung? No eye? Fssssshh? Hilarious!"  
  
No, Changsub doesn't get it. He can't comprehend anything right now. But he lets himself laugh out aloud. It looks so forced but Sungjae's too drunk to notice. Besides, he should only react positively to anything the younger say or do. In that way, Sungjae will think that they share the same sense of humor, and that's a very important factor in attraction.  
  
"Hyung..."  
  
Changsub was roused from his reverie when he felt something drop on his shoulder. He whips his head to the right and there he saw Sungjae's head resting peacefully on his shoulder. He feels his whole body tense, his breath caught in his throat, and his heart starts to beat abnormally fast. This is the first time that he became this close, too close for his sanity, to Sungjae, and he doesn't know what to do. His hands are balled into fist as he tries to calm himself down.  
  
"Changsub hyung," Sungjae whispers, his low voice sounds oddly delicious to Changsub's ears. "I'm tired... sleepy... bed..."  
  
"W-wait, I'll justㅡ The fuck!"  
  
He curses loudly as he felt Sungjae's hot breath against his neck. The younger is now facing his neck and it's making him go insane. He can even feel Sungjae's lips slightly ghosting against his skin. He suddenly feels hot and... bothered. Changsub can feel his pulse quickening in an unusual rate and honestly, he's so close to crying and he doesn't have an idea why. Or maybe he does.  
  
_Hold the fuck up! I wasn't prepared for this!_  
  
"Changsub hyung..." Sungjae mumbles against his neck again, his warm breath tickling his already sensitive skin. "Bed..."  
  
_Shit._  
  
He quickly stands up before he completely lose his mind. His eyes widen as he saw Sungjae's unconscious body drops on the floor. He needs to do something about it, maybe put him in a more comfortable position, but thinking about touching Sungjae makes his skin tingle and this feels all types of wrong so he takes a step back, and another one, and another, until he's in the front door, a good ten feet away from the now sleeping Sungjae.  
  
"I need air. Damn, why is it so hot? Fuck it! I'm going out!"  
  
Did his plan just backfired on him? What is this sweet torture all about?


	5. TIP #5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i realized just now that this story's title is so long lmfao. here's an update! i swear i enjoyed writing this chapter hahaha you'll know why after finishing this lol. i hope you guys will like this as much as i do. enjoy reading!! ❤

Changsub bangs his head on the table.  
  
First of all, he's having a terrible hang over, hence the mug of hot coffee sitting idly in front of him.  
  
Second, he's internally fighting himself for what he did last night. He left Sungjae lying on the cold floor of their room and took a quick escape. He needed to calm himself down and clear his mind. He ran around their campus over and over until he felt all the heat in his body go away. He was so ashamed for feeling that way towards the younger. Sungjae is a pure, clean, and decent human being. He didn't deserve to be thought of the way Changsub had thought of him last night. He'll surely go to hell because of that.  
  
After making sure he's dead tired to even do anything stupid, he finally decided to go home. He wanted to smack himself for being shocked to find Sungjae still lying on the floor, shivering because of the cold. _Of course he's still there you idiot!_ He quickly made a move to carry the younger back to his bed while being extra careful to not hurt him in the process. He made sure Sungjae was in a comfortable position before he covered him properly with a blanket. He also cleaned their mess first before going to his bed. It was a long night.  
  
Lastly, the biggest reason why he's banging his head on the table is because his plan failed again. He was so drunk he couldn't remember everything that happened last night (Well, except the part where Sungjae made him all hot and bothered) and it's making him really frustrated. He knows that they shared a lot of things to each other, there's this vague memory in his mind that shows them talking and laughing, but he can't remember what exactly did they speak about. He tried to recall everything that he can but to no avail, which means his efforts have all gone to waste.  
  
"What's the point of getting to know someone over a drink," he tells to no one in particular as his forehead starts to hurt. "When you'll just end up forgetting everything tomorrow when you wake up?"  
  
Changsub spent the rest of his Saturday lying on his bed, contemplating if the sudden memory of him telling Sungjae about his ex puking on his mouth happened in real life or he's just making things up.

***

 **Tip #5. Get his adrenaline pumping**  
_\- Do things that are exciting. Take a run together, play Monopoly, or watch a thriller like Black Swan or Source Code._  
  
Changsub should've just stick with the examples given on the tip. He should've just ask Sungjae to take a jog with him every morning eventhough he's not very fond of waking up before the sun rises. Besides, exercising is a completely safe activity. He should've just ask Sungjae to play chess or scrabble or snakes and ladders. Any board games will do, honestly. It's safer playing indoor games anyway. He should've just ask Sungjae to watch The Da Vinci Code or Shutter Island or heck! He can even go for The Ring. Watching movies is a lot safer than this.  
  
Changsub tightly clasps the two tickets in his handㅡ his trembling left hand, to be exact. He nervously bites his lower lip, already feeling dizzy while looking at these giant monsters pretending to be fun rides in front of him. What is he even thinking back then that made him agree to be in this nightmare of a place? How did he come up with this decision?  
  
_Two weeks ago:_  
  
_"Yo! Lee Changsub!"_  
  
_"Minhyuk hyung, I'm gonna be late for my last period, so no."_  
  
_"I haven't even said anything yet!" The older snorts as he hands him a small white envelope. "You can have that. I don't need that anyway."_  
  
_"Huh?" He curiously opens the envelope and he saw two amusement park tickets inside. "What am I gonna do with these? You know how much I hate amusement parks!"_  
  
_"One of my friendsㅡ"_  
  
_"You mean girlfriend?"_  
  
_"Oh, shut up!" Minhyuk playfully hits his arm. "As I was saying, one of my friends gave me that yesterday asking for a companion. I told her that I already have someone to be with on Chuseok so I can't come with her. She got angry and threw that to my face. I mean, what did I even do?"_  
  
_"You're just being a dick, hyung." Changsub answers him matter-of-factly. "Nothing new, really."_  
  
_"Fuck you. Anyway," His cousin doesn't even sound pissed at all. "I'm giving it to you now. It's a waste of money to throw that completely away. Ask Sungjae to come with you or something."_  
  
_"What?" Changsub raises a curious eyebrow at Minhyuk. "I thought you want me stop pursuing Sungjae?"_  
  
_"Yeah, and I still do," Minhyuk shrugs his shoulder before smiling at him. "But I thought maybe going to the amusement park with you will turn Sungjae off. If not, then good for you, but I doubt it will turn out fine. Isn't it a win-win for the both of us?"_  
  
_"You'll never give up, won't you?" Changsub just rolls his eyes at his hopeless cousin, but he puts the envelope in his bag anyway. "I'll think about it. I'll better get going now, Minhyuk hyung. Bye!"_  
  
_Three days later, he's sitting on Sungjae's bed with the envelope in his sweaty hands._  
  
_He couldn't come up with a good plan for tip #5, not when his eyes keep on looking back to the envelope on his study table. What can possibly go wrong, right? Maybe he'll enjoy going this time because he's gonna be with someone he likes. He realized that maybe he needs to stop being a coward and just face everything head on. In any case, he's got nothing to lose if he try._  
  
_"H-hey, Sungjae," he nervously calls the younger, his voice came out small because of nervousness. "I... on C-Chuseok, maybe w-we..."_  
  
_"What is it, hyung?" Sungjae smiles as he waits for him to stop being a stuttering mess._  
  
_Seriously, self? Just get this over and done with._  
  
_"I have two ride-all-you-can tickets here to Yuldongㅡ"_  
  
_"Really?!" Changsub almost went blind after seeing the younger's huge excited smile plastered on his face. Sungjae snatches the envelope in his hands and takes a peek inside. "Wow, hyung! Are you asking me to come with you? Let's go! It's been a while since I've been to the amusement park! Let's go on the first day of Chuseok!"_  
  
That's why he's here now, hands trembling at the sight of those horrifying rides that they're about to try. He shakily gives their tickets to the smiling receptionist and then he waits for them to be processed. He looks up to see the sun shining brightly, few thin clouds floating in the sky, and it seems like the wind is getting chiller by the day as autumn is about to come. He sighs in defeat. Today is definetly a perfect day to enjoy the amusement park, alright.  
  
_Where is the rain when you need it?_ He shakes his head at his foolish thoughts. _Someone up there really likes to watch me suffer._  
  
"Hyung I bought us drinks!"  
  
Changsub jumps in surprise as he hears Sungjae's thrilled voice beside him. He mumbles his thanks as he takes the large cup of iced coffee from the younger. Sungjae informs him that he had already planned the order of the rides that they'll try and Changsub couldn't just say no to this beautiful enthusiastic guy in front of himㅡ not when he's smiling at him like that.  
  
"You can now enter Yuldong Amusement Park, Sir!" The receptionist announces with a friendly tone. "Welcome and enjoy your time!"  
  
_Oh, I surely will._  
  
Seriously, to say that Sungjae is excited is an understatement. That guy is burning with enthusiasm that could last for years, maybe even a decade. Changsub feels like he's babysitting the younger instead of having an actual date. Well, technically this isn't a date so he should stop complaining.  
  
Sungjae wants to quickly ride the giant Pirate Ship Ride the minute they stepped inside the park. Changsub swears he felt like fainting all of a sudden when he saw how high the wooden boat is swinging back and forth. He's about to refuse when Sungjae suddenly grabs his hand and drags him to the line of people wanting to try the said ride. Changsub keeps on glancing at their clasped hands, finding himself suddenly blushing. It's feels amazing to see how Sungjae's huge hand envelopes his own thin one. His nervousness suddenly vanishes because of that.  
  
But it didn't last long.  
  
He's glad that Sungjae is enjoying his time, really. Changsub wishes to feel the same but all he had experienced were just horrible diziness and mild nauseaousness after they tried the ride. He tries hard, really hard, to smile at Sungjae when the younger asks him if he had fun. Of course he said yes, dammit. He couldn't say that all he wanna do right now is go home and puke all his internal organs out. He's not one to spoil the fun, okay.  
  
_You can do this, Lee Changsub!_  
  
The next few hours were spent riding such extreme rides that almost made Changsub lost his consciousness. They tried that Flying Spinning Rocket or whatever that made his stomach churn to death. Sungjae also dragged him to ride that Extreme Roller Coaster where he screamed too much that it felt like he dropped his soul somewhere in the middle of the ride. They tried riding that freaking Drop Tower, too. Changsub was sure all of his blood had gone down the drain when they were momentarily at the top. He couldn't even look down bacause he's sure he'll die in an instant if he did. And when they finally did the drop... Let's just say he felt like he died a hundred times that day.  
  
That's not all. Sungjae said he wanted to try the Sliding Log Water Ride because it looks fun. Changsub tried to turn down the younger's request by saying that they didn't bring any clothes in case they get wet but Sungjae was unstoppable. Sungjae mentioned that he expected them to get wet so he brought clothes for the two of them. Changsub just couldn't rest a wink, could he? So ride that fucking log, they did.  
  
Sungjae's shirt was seriously so big for him, but the younger said that it looks good on him. He reassured that Changsub looks absolutely fine. Sungjae even pointed out that he looks soft. What does it even mean, he thought.  
  
The only time that Changsub got to rest for a while was when they rode the Ferris Wheel. He told Sungjae that he'll sleep for a while. He didn't even know how he did that but he's just so damn tired okay. He closed his eyes as he tried to calm down from his high. He heard sounds of camera shutters once in a while, coming to a conclusion that Sungjae was taking photos from the view up here. The silence was making his nerves settle down, finally.  
  
_Okay, Let's go home after this! You're the boss, Changsub-ah. You should learn how to say no! Do it!_  
  
After they got down from the Ferris Wheel, Changsub immediately toughens up his heart and bravely tugs Sungjae's sleeves. The younger turns to look at him, smile beaming and eyes shining brightly. His defenses almost crumble down, but he survived.  
  
"Sungjae, you know," Changsub starts, voice trying to sound as convincing as possible. "I'm thinking that maybe we shouldㅡ"  
  
"We're thinking about the same thing right, Changsub hyung?" Sungjae excitedly asks him as his arm finds its way around his shoulder while bouncing up and down. "Come on! Let's try Yuldong Park's most famous attraction!"  
  
_What?_  
  
_FUCK. MY. LIFE._  
  
"Let's Bungee jump! Come on, hyung!"  
  
Sungjae quickly drags him to the Bungee Jump Center near the lake. Changsub's mind is currently blank. He thinks he finally lost his mind after riding too many extreme rides for the last couple of hours. He can't even say anything as Sungjae keeps on dragging him up the ladder as they climb their way to the Bungee Jump platform. He tries to look down only to quickly look back up because holy shit, they're almost a hundred feet away from the ground and it's making him dizzy. He really hates high places with a burning passion.  
  
He gulps nervously as they finally make their way on the platform. His legs start to tremble because he can't see anything except the huge span of the blue sky in front of him. They're really a hundred feet up there.  
  
"Welcome to Bungee Jump Center, Sir!" A tall, big looking guy cheers for them. "You two going for a couple jump? Try it!"  
  
"Ah, no. We're not a couple." Changsub hears Sungjae politely refuse the suggestion while chuckling softly. "We're jumping seperately. This hyung will go first."  
  
"What?!"  
  
Changsub doesn't know if he'll feel bad because Sungjae just straightly clarified that they're not a couple, or because Sungjae wants him to jump first. Both made him quite disappointed, though.  
  
"Why me firstㅡ Hey! Wait!"  
  
He alarmingly jumps in fear as two guys suddenly straps him the harnesses and all the safety cables and wires he needs for the jump. He tries to scurry away from them but they're so strong that he can't even move his body at all. He turns to look at Sungjae to desperately ask for help, but the younger is busy putting his own safety harnesses while his back is facing away from him which means he can't even witness how Changsub is shedding tears right now.  
  
"Here's what you have to remember before you jump, Sir..."  
  
Changsub can't hear and understand everything his instructor is saying at all. His eyes are blurry from crying, heart is beating madly against his chest, mind is in utter chaos, breathing is painful, rapid and shallow he actually feels like dying. Why are they even doing this? Why can't Sungjae jump first? Why can't Sungjae jump together with him? Why aren't they a couple?  
  
_It hurts. Fuck, it hurts!_  
  
"Okay, sir! You're ready to go!" His instructor happily informs him as he positions Changsub on the edge of the platform. "Just scream it all out and then jumpㅡ"  
  
"Wait. I'll justㅡ" Changsub takes a step back because he can't feel his legs anymore but his intructor slightly pushes him forward playfully. He lost it. "W-WAIT! FUCK, I SAID WAIT! CAN'T YOU WAIT!"  
  
He hears the people around him laugh at his missery and he cries even harder. What is he doing with his life, really.  
  
"Just relax, Sir." The instructor chuckles at him, clearly enjoying his own little show provided by Changsub. "Don't worry, no one died just from jumping here, Sir. Some drowned in the lake, but they all made it alive! Kidding!"  
  
The laughter around him gets louder, and so is his cry for help.  
  
_YOOK SUNGJAE HOW CAN YOU LEAVE ME ALL ALONE!_  
  
"OKAY! I'LL JUMP. JUST GIVE ME A FEW MINUTES!" He hysterically shouts as he wipes the tears away from his face. "I JUST NEED A FEW MINUTES!"  
  
"There are many people behind you now, Sir!" His instructor continues to laugh. "Seriously, just shout it all out and jump!"  
  
"EASY FOR YOU TO SAY! CANT YOU JUST FUCKING WAIT! DON'T PRESSURE ME!" Changsub tries to even his labored breathing as he takes a shaky step forward. He tries to take another step and that's when the Instructor decided to scare him by slightly pushing him again. He angrily takes a step back. "I FUCKING TOLD YOU TO WAIT! WHY ARE YOU SO STUPID! I'LL JUMP! I WILL JUMP, JUST STOP PUSHING ME! JUST STOP IT! I'LL JUMP AND DIE RIGHT HEREㅡ"  
  
"Calm down, Changsub hyung."  
  
Sungjae's handsome and calm face suddenly appears in front of him. The younger smiles at him reassuringly while wiping the tears that escaped his eyes. The action makes him burst more tears.  
  
"SUNGJAE! I'M SORRY I CANNOT JUMP! I CAN'T DO IT!" Changsub desperately clings on Sungjae as he cries harder. All of his fears are finally coming out. "LET'S GO HOME PLEASE! I CAN'T DO IT! I'LL DIE IF I DO IT! PLEASE SAVE ME SUNGJAE! I DON'T WANT TO JUMP! PLEASEㅡ"  
  
"Relax, hyung." Sungjae continues to wipe his tears using the back of his hands, his smile never faltering. "We'll jump together, okay? We'll do it. Trust me."  
  
"Huh?" Listening to Sungjae's soothing voice makes him calm down a little. "What?"  
  
"We'll do it together."  
  
"I t-thought you d-don't want to do it because we're notㅡ"  
  
"Hush now, hyung." The younger gently brushes away some hair that are covering his eyes. "We'll jump together, alright? Do you trust me?"  
  
One look at Sungjae's deep brown orbs, as if they're convincing him to believe and just leave everything to the younger, had Changsub nodding his head immediately. Sungjae takes Changsub's shaking hands and securely wraps it around his waist. The younger does the same to him.  
  
"Are you two finally ready?"  
  
He hears his instructor's voice asking something. Changsub hadn't even noticed that they've tied their waists and ankles together earlier because he was too busy looking at Sungjae's face. With one last security check, he watches as Sungjae firmly nods his head at the instructor.  
  
"Okay, when I count to three, you two will jump, alright?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"One!"  
  
A smile.  
  
"Two!"  
  
A kiss on the forehead.  
  
"Three!"  
  
"Let's fall together, Changsub hyung."  
  
"Jump!"  
  
And they finally jump off the platform together.  
  
It's amazing how not even one single scream came out of Changsub's throat. Maybe because looking at Sungjae's eyes drowns all of his fears away and replaces it with something even better. Something his heart will always remember for the rest of his life.


	6. TIP #6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello!! first of all i just wanna say sorry for this very very late update!! i had a very busy weekend and gdhsajhs i'm really sorry!! anyway, here's an update, finally!! this will come to an end soon and i'm crying lol. i hope you guys will like this update!! enjoy reading ❤

"I guess you predicted the future two weeks ago."  
  
"What are you talking about, Sub-ah?"  
  
"I think I really turned Sungjae off when we went to the amusement park the other day, Minhyuk hyung."  
  
"Damn, are you serious?"  
  
Changsub wished he was just kidding but, no. Two days after they had their time at Yuldong Amusement Park, Sungjae decided to ignore him like he was just a piece of dust or something. Actually, the younger had started giving him the cold shoulder back when they were on their way home to their shared dorm. Sungjae suddenly stopped talking to him and he didn't have any idea why or what caused it. Was it because he was such a scaredy cat? Was it because he was a boring companion? Was it because he caused a scene on the Bungee Jump Center and it made the younger mortified as hell?  
  
_Maybe it was all of the above._  
  
"But you know, hyung? I was wondering..." Changsub heaves a deep sigh as he moves his phone to his left ear. "Before we jumped off the platform, he... k-kissed me on my forehead. I mean, w-why would he do that, right? Maybe heㅡ"  
  
"Changsub-ah," Minhyuk abruptly cuts him off on the other line. "You told me that he was trying to calm you down because you were getting really worked up that time. I think he was just trying to settle your nerves so you couldㅡ"  
  
"The fuck is settling my nerves?" He lets out a laugh of disbelief, his eyes rolling hard. "What, he did that by kissing me in front of all those people watching us?"  
  
"He kissed your forehead, to be exact." Minhyuk quickly clarifies. "It's just an act of kindness, Sub-ah. Besides, you did calm down after that. We know how polite and kind Sungjae is, right? I think he was just being thoughtful in a friendly way, Sub-ah. Don't put unnecessary meanings to his actions."  
  
He gets what Minhyuk is trying to say, really, but there's this rattling feeling inside of him that tells him otherwise.  
  
"Let's say you're right, hyung. Let's say that Sungjae was just being the usual considerate and helpful person that he is," Changsub feels his blood pressure rising, his breathing quick and shallow. "So what is his problem now? Why isn't he treating me the same way before? Why is he giving me the cold treatment if everything he did was just him being his usual self? I don't fucking get it."  
  
"I don't know. I don't get him either, honestly." His cousin becomes silent for a moment, and then he hears an exasperated sigh on the other line. "Maybe it's time to finally give up, Sub-ah. Maybe this is a sign for you to stop."  
  
Changsub looks up at the clear sky from his bedroom window and he momentarily lets his mind wander a little. There are only two tips left and to be completely honest, he thinks it's already too late to give up. He had already started this stupid game, he might as well finish it all at once. Changsub had said it before and he'll say it again. If his heart gets broken, then so be it.  
  
"You know how stubborn I am, hyung." Changsub closes his eyes as he basks in the quietness of his surroundings. "I'll only stop once I finish all the tips. I can't give up just yet. I still want to know why Sungjae is treating me like this out of the blue."  
  
"Justㅡ Changsub, please." He hears his cousin sigh for the hundredth time that day. "Don't say that I didn't try to stop you. I don't want you bawling your eyes out on me because I'm right all along, okay?"  
  
"Okay, fine!" Changsub feels himself smile because of Minhyuk's concern. "Anyway, thanks hyung, for listening. I mean it."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
Changsub ends the call as he shakes his head. Today is the third day of Chuseok and instead of enjoying the holidays outside, or going home to Suwonㅡ his hometownㅡ where his family is having a feast right now, here he is, lying on his bed, waiting for a certain someone to be back from Yongin.  
  
Also, it's hard racking his brains out some ways on how he should apologize to Sungjae because he really thinks it's his fault why the younger suddenly turned cold towards him. It's just that it's hard to apologize if you don't have any idea what you're even sorry for.  
  
Moreover, the next tip is just downright a difficult thing to do, well at least for him. Some people may find it immensely easy, some are even born with enviable abilities to naturally pull it off, but not him. He's too stiff and awkward to do something like that. Not to mention that it'll be impossible to accomplish now that Sungjae won't even throw him a glance.  
  
He looks through his tiny notebook one more time.  
  
**Tip #6. Make him a cuddle fan**  
_\- Cuddling is one way to keep the chemicals flowing, which makes you feel warm in the closeness of that other person. Pop in a movie and get your cuddle on!_  
  
_Impossible, totally impossible. Just how the hell am I going toㅡ Why do you like to make yourself suffer, Lee Changsub?_

***

Changsub was awaken by the sound of Sungjae coming back to their dorm the morning of the next day. In his still half-awake state, he notices how the younger looked like his soul was sucked out of his body. Perhaps he's exhausted raving the holidays up back at Yongin. Well, atleast one of them had fun during their three-day Thanksgiving break.  
  
"Welcome back, Sungjae!" Changsub quickly starts up a conversation while trying to sound as earnest and awake as possible. "Did you have fㅡ"  
  
"Sorry, too tired." The younger doesn't even spare him a glance and just straightaway dives face-first on his bed. "Talk to you later, hyung."  
  
_As if you will._  
  
Changsub frowns at Sungjae's direction. The younger's giving off that cold atmosphere again and it's actually making him upset. It's been three days and he's still being deliberately ignored, but he'll be more understanding today, alright. Sungjae just came back after an exhausting trip. He's tired and sleepy, so he'll give him some time to rest before he bothers him again to make an apology.  
  
For the mean time, he realizes that him getting all cuddly with Sungjae is really a hopeless case so he decided to just abandon the tip completely. Memories of his failed flirting skills come back to hit him like waves and he's totally not gonna risk taking a chance again. But no, he's not giving up. Changsub immediately comes up with a back up plan.  
  
He'll just try to convince Sungjae to let him hug him for a minute everyday. He thinks that he'll be more likely to succeed in asking for a hug than coming up with an excuse to cuddle. The only downside of his back up plan is Sungjae might get weirded out by him again but that's another problem. He'll get to that if it happens. For now, he should focus more on saying sorry and getting back to what they were before and then if he's lucky enough, maybe he can win himself a hug, too.  
  
_You can do it, self!_  
  
Changsub aims for a second round of sleep and when he wakes up to eat lunch, Sungjae is nowhere to be found. He doesn't wanna be too assuming, but he feels like Sungjae is really avoiding him at all cost. He tries to convince himself that maybe the younger just went out to have lunch outside, so he patiently waits for him to be back. He waited until afternoon, he thought he could treat Sungjae some snacks but the younger didn't come home. He waited until dinner, he even cooked for the both of them but he ended up eating all of it alone. He waited until midnight, his eyes were already on the verge of closing but he persisted. He will not sleep unless he gets an answer to all of his questions from Sungjae.  
  
And speaking of the devil, he hears a rustling of keys outside and then the door finally opens. He waits until Sungjae reaches their bedroom and judging by the look on the younger's face, he can now totally confirm his assumption.  
  
"W-why are you still awake, hyungㅡ"  
  
"Oh, tell me about it." Changsub crosses his arms over his chest as he gives the younger a displeased frown. "Would you prefer it if you stumble upon a sleeping me instead?"  
  
"What are you trying toㅡ You know what, forget it." Sungjae removes his shoes as he walks over to his own bed, easily dismissing the topic in a second. "It's late, hyung. We should rest now. School's gonna start tomorrow andㅡ"  
  
He watches in annoyance as Sungjae lies down on his bed and turns his back on him, totally disregarding him. Something snaps inside of him.  
  
"Can you atleast tell me why you're doing this to me?" he hisses at Sungjae, feeling his frustration and annoyance instantly build up by the minute.  
  
"Doing what?" Sungjae answers back, still not facing him. "I'm just telling you to restㅡ"  
  
"You must really take me for a fool." He exasperatedly sighs as he stands up and makes his way towards the younger's bed. "Okay fine, punch me, kick me, do whatever you want until you get satisfied."  
  
He saw Sungjae whips his head as fast as lightning after he offered him that. The younger's face is full of confusion and slight annoyance. This reaction is actually better than nothing at all.  
  
"What are you on, hyung?" Sungjae quizzes him as he rises up from his bed, his brows furrowed and eyes sharp. "What is this fuss all about?"  
  
"It's very clear to me." Changsub shrugs his shoulders off as he puts his hands inside the pockets of his sweatpants. "I did something wrong that's why you're being like this to me, right? I'm not dumb, Yook Sungjae. I can feel it. Plus, you're making it pretty obvious that you hate me."  
  
Sungjae's face, which was illuminated by the small lamp shade on his bedside table, looks like a deer caught in the headlights. His eyes widen in surprise and it seems like he's holding his breath momentarily. But Changsub thinks Sungjae is so determined to steer clear from the topic because after looking undoubtedly guilty, the younger decides to just snort back at him.  
  
"What? Hate? Why would I hate you?" Sungjae even lets out a laugh of disbelief. "Don't put your mind into it. It's nothing."  
  
"It clearly is not, though." He objects as he continues to observe the younger. "You tell me it's nothing but you're still giving me the cold shoulder. Funny. You don't want to tell me what exactly I did that made you treat me this way? Fine. Punch me instead. Come on, I won't fight backㅡ"  
  
"You're crazy if you actually think that I'll hurt you."  
  
"Then what do you want me toㅡ Okay. I get it." Changsub thinks he can be a saint for keeping his cool up until now. He walks closer to younger's bed, his knee touching the matress, and then he bows down, 90 degrees deep, in front of Sungjae. "Whatever it is that I've done to make you upset, angry, disgusted, or humiliated, I am deeply sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I am genuinely asking for forgiveness. Know that I have no intentions of causing you harm andㅡ"  
  
"Stop, stop, stop. Changsub hyung, stop." He feels a hand on his left shoulder lifting him up. He raises his gaze to look at the younger's face and he's surprised to see Sungjae biting back a smile. "What are you doing, hyung?"  
  
Really, he finds this funny? He straightens up and clears his throat.  
  
"I'm apologizing to you eventhough I don't know what I did wrong." He replies, hands crossing over his chest again. "But what I know is that I did something terrible and I want to say sorry. Please stop ignoring me."  
  
Sungjae is silent for a moment and just keeps on staring at him. Honestly, Changsub is becoming slightly uncomfortable. There's something in the way the younger looks at him that he can't quite figure out. For the first time that night, he feels somewhat self-conscious. Until when is Sungjae going to look at him like that? He's starting to feel like he's been thoroughly watched under a microscope and he can't stand it anymore.  
  
"W-well, you don't have to accept my apology nowㅡ"  
  
"I'm sorry, Changsub hyung."  
  
Changsub abruptly stops talking as soon as he hears Sungjae muttering those words. He keeps his head down as he listens to the younger's words.  
  
"I know I was being a douche for trying to ignore you." Sungjae straightfully admits, his soft voice sounds totally apologetic. "It's just that... my mind keeps on doing this weird thing, you know? I don't know how to tell you but... I hated myself when I saw you crying back at the Bungee Jump Center. I feel like I forced you into doing something you're really terrified of. I hated myself for doing that."  
  
"How did you know that I'm scared of heights?" Changsub dumbly asks, still not looking at Sungjae. "I rode everything with you, though."  
  
"It's obvious that you were just pretending, hyung." He hears Sungjae softly chuckles at his question. A few seconds of silence passed when Sungjae clears his throat. "I kind of already know that you really hate high places and I had fun watching you try your best to look strong and unbothered, so I thought maybe it's fun if I see you lose your shit if we try bungee jumpingㅡ"  
  
"And you were right." Changsub laughs at himself when he remembered his embarrassing outburst before jumping. "I did lose my shit."  
  
"That's why I immediately regretted my decision when I saw how you were trying to jump but then you were crying so bad that I feltㅡ" He hears the younger heaves a deep sigh. "I should be the one apologizing to you, Changsub hyung. I'm sorry for forcing you and for ignoring you and just... I'm sorry for being a total jerk."  
  
"May I know why did you do that?" He curiously asks. His hands sweaty and slightly fidgety. "Was it fun watching me break down?"  
  
"Hell, no! No, Changsub hyung. It wasn't." Changsub holds his breath when he feels Sungjae grabs  
his left hand and starts playing with his fingers. "You didn't know how my heart felt like... like thousands of needles were piercing through it when you cling onto me and I felt your whole body shaking. I guess... I was just... I was waiting for you to depend on me. To call my name and ask for my help. I was waiting for you to need me."  
  
Changsub feels his heart hammers inside his chest. He bites his lips hard, trying to stop himself from screaming because first of all, it's already midnight and they have neighbors who are probably sleeping. Second, he's too speechless to even make a sound. So he did what he does best.  
  
He laughs.  
  
"Hey, why are you laughing?"  
  
The always calm and collected Yook Sungjae is now looking anxiously at him, his grip is even tightening on his hand. What a time to be alive.  
  
"So, we're good now, right? Right?" Changsub gently coaxes Sungjae, finally meeting the younger's eyes while laughing softly. "We're back to normal now, right?"  
  
He looks at Sungjae release a sigh of relief and then slowly nods his head at him. The younger gives him a bashful smile which brings his heart in a total havoc. Oh, how he missed that smile!  
  
"Can you let me hug you for a minute, Sungjae?" He directly asks the younger. There's no need for him to beat around the bush. "Please?"  
  
"Why, all of a sudden?" Sungjae inquires him while chuckling cutely, nevertheless he opens his arms widely and nods at his direction. "Come here, hyung."  
  
Changsub slowly crouches down and gently wraps his arms around the younger's torso. He places his chin on the younger's shoulder as he closes his eyes. Is this what heaven feels like?  
  
_1, 2, 3, 4, 5..._  
  
He feels Sungjae's arms moving but he strictly reminds himself that this should only take up a minute, so he just continue focusing on counting in his mind while silently indulging himself the warmth that the other is providing. It feels really nice, but it has to end soon.  
  
_56, 57, 58, 59, and time's up!_  
  
Changsub quickly releases his hold against Sungjae and then he stands up straight. He gives Sungjae a soft smile but what caught his attention is the younger's furrowed eyebrows and an obvious frown on his face. Did he do something wrong again?  
  
"Thank you for the hug." He flips his hair as he sighs in regret. "Rest now, Sungjae. You still need toㅡ"  
  
"That's it? That's all?" He hears Sungjae mumbles, more to himself than to Changsub, actually. "You didn't even wait for me to hug you back?"  
  
_What the?_  
  
"W-well, I, well, y-you didn'tㅡ Hey!"  
  
Changsub's mind goes on a total black out when he feels himself being pulled into a bone crushing hug. That's not all, Sungjae even decided to pull him down on the bed. Changsub's brain forgets how to function properly as he lets Sungjae adjust their positions so they can fit on the small space.  
  
_Why is tonight so eventful? I am not prepared at all!_  
  
"When you hug someone, remember to let them hug you back." Changsub hears Sungjae whisper against his ear. Shivers instantly run down his spine. "Alright, hyung?"  
  
"Y-yes."  
  
"Changsub hyung..." He feels the arms around him tighten and honestly, Changsub can't even explain how he's feeling right now. Sungjae yawns rather loudly. "There's no one like you. Really."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"Let's sleep," Sungjae nuzzles his face on Changsub's hair. "Here."  
  
One thing is for sure, though. His heart will explode any moment now. He needs a breather or else he'll completely lose his mind.  
  
"I n-need to get my p-pillow." He tries to make a lame excuse as he untangles himself from Sungjae's koala-like hug. "Wait a m-minute."  
  
"I don't trust your sense of timing." Sungjae tighten his hug more, if that's still even possible. "Don't go, hyung. It's cold."  
  
"But my pillowㅡ"  
  
"Don't go." Sungjae firmly orders as he yawns once again. He really sounds so sleepy now. "I've already made up my mind."  
  
It seems like there's no getting out of this so Changsub just let himself enjoy what Sungjae is doing right now. Besides, cuddling like this as they both fall into a deep sleep feels really, really great.  
  
"About what?" He also lets out a yawn as he feels himself getting comfortable and sleepy with Sungjae's arms wrapped around him. "Can you tell me?"  
  
"Tomorrow." Sungjae mumbles. "Good night, Lee Changsub."  
  
Whatever it is, Changsub is sure that it will only be good news because it will come from Sungjae, and Sungjae only brings happiness to his life.  
  
Except that when he wakes up the next morning, Sungjae is now gone and Minhyuk had sent him a photo of the younger, holding some pretty girl's hand while smiling sweetly at her, and they were clearly having a fun time at Yuldong Amusement Park.  
  
_My friend sent this to me last night, Sub-ah. She saw Sungjae and Sohyun having a date on the amusement park yesterday. I thought you needed to know. If you want to talk, you just have to call me._  
  
"So this is what he's going to tell me today, huh."  
  
_What an asshole._  



	7. TIP #7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an update is here!! an update is here!! sorry for being late again!! also, the next chapter is gonna be the last sksksnsjsshsn please hang on until then!! enjoy reading guys!! ❤
> 
> ps: yes, the drama is necessary. please bear with it lol.

Changsub woke up feeling light and refreshed that morning. He never had such a peaceful sleep like that in a while. All thanks to the man who held him in his arms the whole time. He is very thankful for the warmth and security that Sungjae gave him last night. Changsub loves how everything felt so natural between them. From the younger's arms that were wrapped around him oh so gently yet firm, to him lightly clutching the front of Sungjae's shirt, to the other's fingers softly brushing his hair, to their same deep rhythmical breathing, and even the overall atmospehereㅡ it all just felt like they've been doing that for years. It was all new to him and yet it felt so familiar at the same time.  
  
That's why he feels kind of empty when he noticed that the other side of the bed is cold and unoccupied. He reckons Sungjae already went to his class this morning. He reminds himself that he could see the younger again later so there's no need for him to be overly dramatic just because he didn't get to wake up to Sungjae's gorgeous face.  
  
_And please don't be so clingy, self. He's still not your guy. Stop, okay?_  
  
He jolts in his place when he suddenly hears the Kakao Talk notification of his phone. He picks it up and he rolls his eyes hard when he saw Minhyuk's name on it. Really now? His cousin wants to pester him at 8:00 am? He wonders what kind of bullcrap is this gonna be about.  
  
He clicks the message and a photo pops out.  
  
It was a photo of a man and a woman, smiling sweetly while holding each other's hand. They look like they were having a fun date at the amusement park. He's just about to ask Minhyuk why did he send that to him when realization hits him like a truck. This is not just an ordinary photo of a couple. The guy in this picture is definitely Yook Sungjae, he's wearing that white oversized shirt that he saw on him yesterday, and the girl is the ever famous campus cutieㅡ Kim Sohyun. She's loved by many in their University. Elegant, charming, kind, warmㅡ exactly like a female version of Sungjae. Also, this isn't just some other amusement park. They were in Yuldong Amusement Park, the one where he and Sungjae have previously gone to.  
  
Changsub would die first before he admit this, but they totally look good together. They look like those couples you can watch on movies or dramas who everybody envies because they seem like a perfect match.  
  
_Unlike us. Both men, one is tall and undeniably handsome, and the other is just a personified zombie._  
  
_As if people would even consider the two of you as a couple. Wake up!_  
  
Another message comes and Changsub reads it.  
  
_My friend sent this to me last night, Sub-ah. She saw Sungjae and Sohyun having a date on the amusement park yesterday. I thought you needed to know. If you want to talk, you just have to call me._  
  
He suddenly remembered that one thing Sungjae had mentioned last night. When the younger told him _"I've made up my mind"_ , is this what he meant? He already made up his mind so he's finally making a move on Sohyun? Did he realize that it's actually more enjoyable being with her? Well, one look at the photo and anybody could easily tell that they're clearly having a great time. He tries to remember if Sungjae ever smiled at him like that whenever they're together and... he can't think of any. Sungjae smiles at him a lot, but not like the one he gives Sohyun in that photo. He never smiled at him like I-enjoy-being-with-you kind of way.  
  
His heart feels like it's slowly sinking. Like something heavy is pressing on it and he's suddenly unable breathe properly. There's also this invisible hand forcefully grabbing his heart, seizing and squeezing it so hard until all that's left is a nasty aching feeling everytime it tries to beat. It hurts. It hurts like hell.  
  
_Sungjae's good to you because he's just nice like that. He treats everyone else the same as you. You're not special._  
  
_Sungjae will never like you that way, Sub-ah. Believe me. Please save yourself from any potential heartbreaks._  
  
_It's just an act of kindness, Sub-ah. We know how polite and kind Sungjae is, right? I think he was just being thoughtful in a friendly way, Sub-ah. Don't put unnecessary meanings to his actions._  
  
_Maybe it's time to finally give up, Sub-ah. Maybe this is a sign for you to stop._  
  
He lets out a laugh. A dead sounding laugh. His mouth tastes bitter and he doesn't like it so he laughs again. He continues to laugh as he shakes his head in disbelief. He's been warned by Minhyuk way too many times already but what did he do? He keeps on listening to his stubborn heart. He keeps on making himself believe that Sungjae sees and treats him in a special way. He keeps on being blind and deaf when everything around him is screaming "kindness" "normal" "nothing special" in his face. Now that everything is finally clear, he realized how stupid he was.  
  
"If my heart gets broken, then so be it? Then this is it, Lee Changsub. Congratulations."  
  
His eyes flew towards his tiny notebook that is sitting on his bedside table. He grabs it as he shakes his head. This is where everything started, and this is where it will also end. He was about to tear the pages when his vision caught the last tip. He reads it for the last time.  
  
**7\. Find your own happiness**  
_\- Rather than spending your time trying to lure him in, remember that people who are comfortable with themselves are interesting because they’re doing things that make them happy, and that’s very attractive._  
  
He never really paid much attention to the last tip because he was busy trying to come up with plans for the previous tips and finding ways on how to execute them perfectly. Now, he's regretting it very much. If only he had read all the tips thoroughly, then he wouldn't have made a fool out of himself. He wouldn't have to lie and pretend just to impress the younger. Maybe he wouldn't have seem so fake in front of Sungjae.  
  
Maybe he should've accepted and love himself first before he tried to find someone who will.  
  
Changsub closes his eyes hard, clearly having a difficult time to stop himself from dropping a single tear. He clutches the notebook tightly that his hand turns scarily white, pouring all of his frustrations and anger to the innocent bundle of papers. He heaves a painful sigh as he stands up from the bed, then he goes over to where the trash bin is. With one last look at the notebook, he throws it completely away, along with his delusions that he and Sungjae might be together one day.  
  
They all belong in the same place anyway.

***

"Don't chug the whole bottle down, Sub-ah. Geez. Manners please."  
  
Changsub flips his cousin the middle finger as he continues to chug the bottle of soju in his hands. He leans back on the sofa as he lets out a particular loud burp. He watches as Minhyuk grimaced at him.  
  
"What manners? We are not in a five star hotel." He rolls his eyes as he picks up a handful of chips and stuff it all in his mouth. "We're just inside your apartment, hyung. Calm down."  
  
"We're inside my _clean_ apartment." His cousin stuffs his mouth some chips too. "I'm already tired by imagining how hard it would be cleaning your mess later."  
  
"Shut up, okay. I won't dirty your precious house." He promises as plenty crumbs of chips from his mouth fall down the floor. "And please let me be. I want to get drunk."  
  
Yes, he skipped his whole class for today just to get wasted. Besides, his cousin already volunteered when he called him a while ago. He roams his eyes around the small yet cozy apartment and wonders why he didn't accept his cousin's offer to live with him and instead he got himself a dorm to share. _Ah, the girls! How could I forget._ He snorts to himself as he recalled that his cousin is a playboy and he often takes women home for you know, companionship at night or something. He's someone who always pull an all-nighter and he might not be able to focus if he really had stayed here.  
  
Atleast he got a well-behaved dormmate who suits his study habits really well.  
  
_Again, Yook Sungjae again. Just when will I not think of you even for a second?_  
  
"Hey, Sub-ah." He hears Minhyuk call his name which made him look back at his cousin. "What if they were just hanging out that time? You know, as friends?"  
  
Of course, even if he wants to, he cannot not avoid talking about the younger tonight. So much for not thinking about him, huh.  
  
"They're holding each other's hands, Minhyuk hyung." He lets out a bitter scoff after he took a sip from his bottle. "You don't do that to your friends."  
  
"You can, thoughㅡ"  
  
"While smiling at each other like that? While taking a walk in an amusement park like that?" His free hand waves in the air quite aggressively. "I don't think so."  
  
He watches as Minhyuk shakes his head while laughing at no one in particular. A few seconds of silence has passed when his cousin decided to speak again.  
  
"Well, you told me you two cuddled to sleep last night." Minhyuk declares, finger pointing at him firmly. "And guess what, you don't do that to your friends, too!"  
  
"Minhyuk hyung, he's just doing that because he is a nice and kind guy." Changsub sneers as he points back at his cousin. "I thought you told me to not bring unnecessary meanings to his actions? Besides, he complained that it's cold last night so..."  
  
"And he just decided to cuddle you all night?" Minhyuk snickers at him, stuffing more chips in his mouth. "I call bullshit."  
  
"There's basically no one else aside from me that time so he just probably didn't have a choice." Changsub shrugs as he chugs the bottle of liquor again, which is already almost empty. "He might be cuddly to everyone for all we know! It's not like he's only done that to me. I know I'm not special. There's practically thousands of girls and guys whom he can just grab andㅡ"  
  
"Yeah, Sungjae is definitely kind," Minhyuk abruptly cuts him. "But he's not dumb. I know he's not someone who will just grab and cuddle anyone to sleep just because it's coldㅡ"  
  
"Hyung, what are you doing?" It's now his time to cut his cousin. Changsub lets out a laugh of disbelief. "Can you hear yourself right now?"  
  
"What?" Minhyuk asks him back, his eyebrows raising rather comically. "I'm just telling you that Sungjae might be nice to everyone, but he's definitely not someone who'll do intimate things to just anyone around."  
  
Is he really talking to his cousin right now? The Lee Minhyuk who always reminds him to stop whatever he is planning to woo the younger? The Lee Minhyuk who is strongly against him pursuing Sungjae? What happened?  
  
"Ha!" Changsub jeers at his cousin. "How did you know? How can youㅡ"  
  
"I know because he's not like me, Lee Changsub." He immediately shuts up as soon as he heard his cousin say those words. Minhyuk's once playful eyes turn into serious ones. "I know because I know myself and the likes of me, and Sungjae is way different from me."  
  
He can't find any words to argue back. He can't even look at his cousin straight in the eyes right now. Why is Minhyuk getting serious all of a sudden? He's not used to this side of his cousin at all.  
  
"You're being blinded by your pain, Sub-ah." Minhyuk speaks again and his eyes and voice are much softer this time. "Stop twisting Sungjae's words and actions now. Stop making him look bad. Not because you were hurt by him means you can just turn him into a monster who he never really was. Please remember that."  
  
Changsub wants to defend himself. He wants to justify his feelings so he can at least make himself feel good, but not even a single word came out of his mouth. He realized that no defense is needed when you were attacked by the cold truth. He really should stop throwing the fault on Sungjae when in reality, all of this is caused by his stubborness. He should know that it was him who made a mistake. He let himself believe that there is something more between him and the younger that's why he's totally devastated when he learned that Sungjae might like someone else other than him.  
  
_Pathetic._  
  
The deafening silence is broken by a loud ring of his phone. He picks his phone up and looks at the caller. He almost drops the bottle in his hand when he saw Sungjae's name on it.  
  
"Who's calling?" Minhyuk curiously peeks at his phone and then he lets out a laugh. "Oh, it's Sungjae! Answer it!"  
  
"Should I?"  
  
"What theㅡ of course, you should!" His cousin lightly punches his arm. "Stop being a bitch for once!"  
  
He rolls his eyes at his cousin and then he takes a deep breath. _Just be a man, self!_  
  
He slides his finger on his phone and accepts the call.  
  
"H-hello, Sungjㅡ"  
  
"Hyung? Where are you?" Sungjae's worried voice greets him on the other line. "I saw one of your blockmates earlier and he said that you didn't come to class today! And then you're not here in our dorm! Where are you, Changsub hyung? Are you alright?"  
  
He wants to stop his heart from beating crazily just because he's hearing the younger's voice again, really. Sungjae seems worried because he's not at home yet. Changsub wants to rejoice, he really do, but sadly, his brain is telling him that no, Sungjae is just worried... as a friend, and nothing more.  
  
"Yes I'm fine, Sungjae." He takes a glance at Minhyuk who is just quietly listening to him, and then he gulps nervously. "Uh, why did you call?"  
  
"Because you're supposed to be home by now and you're not here." Sungjae quickly answers, his words clear and firm. "Where are you? Do you need some fetching? I couldㅡ"  
  
"Uhm, I'm not going home tonight, Sungjae." He bites his lips as he nervously looks at his cousin, who is currently looking at him incredulously. "I'm here at Minhyuk hyung's place. He's t-throwing a party right now and I g-guess I'm gonna stay the night."  
  
God, can he just stop lying for once?  
  
"O-oh." He hears Sungjae murmurs and the other line goes quiet for a while. "I... I actually have something important to tell you tonight, hyung."  
  
_I already know about it, you idiot! I don't need you to personally rub salt to my wounds!_  
  
"Really?" He fakes enthusiasm. He hears Minhyuk clucking his tounge at him. "Whatever that is, congratulations and keep it up! I'm so proud of you! Always be happy, okay! I'll always support you, Sungjae!"  
  
"How can you congratulate me? I haven't even told you anything." He can actually visualize the younger pouting while saying that and it makes his heart ache. "I even prepared us dinner... I know I told you last night that I'll tell you something tonight. Did you forget it?"  
  
_No._ "It actually kind of slipped off my mind, sorry." He wants to punch himself, really, but he's not yet ready to hear directly from Sungjae that he's already dating Sohyun. "You can tell me tomorrow, though?"  
  
"But..." He hears Sungjae release a sigh on the other line. "Okay. I'll see you tomorrow then, Changsub hyung. Don't drink too much, okay? Call me if you change your mind and you wanna go home, alright?"  
  
_Stop making me fall even deeper, please._  
  
"Yeah. Goodnight! Bye!"  
  
And then he ends the call. He releases a breath that he didn't know he was actually holding. He slumps in his seat as he realized what he just did.  
  
"I didn't know that you're gonna stay the night, Lee Changsub."  
  
"Yeah, me neither."  
  
He drinks the remaining soju in his hands as he mentally slaps himself. He hates himself to the bones because he's such a coward, a liar, and an overall pathetic excuse for a human being. How can he do that to Sungjae? It really seemed like the younger is genuinely concerned for him and he just repaid it all by lying.  
  
The real problem is him, no doubt.

***

It's been five days and Changsub is still staying in his cousin's place. He wants to be brave and just face Sungjae and congratulate him and all, but whenever he thinks about it, his heart automatically clenches and his eyes start to water.  
  
Minhyuk wants him gone already, because first of all, he didn't bring any personal belongings when he decided that he's staying here so all he's using are Minhyuk's clothes, shoes, underwears, school supplies, and all. Second, Minhyuk said that he couldn't get _any_  because he's here. He momentarily forgot that his cousin is a raging needy man. Lastly, Minhyuk wants him to just man up, accept his loss and move on. His cousin reminded him that he can't just stay here forever, which is right. His cousin is always right.  
  
And he kind of misses Sungjae. Not kind of, but a lot.  
  
But he has Sohyun now so it definitely doesn't matter.  
  
Speaking of Sohyun, the girl went looking for him yesterday to ask for Sungjae's number. He felt weird. If they were really together now, why doesn't she have his number? And because he is petty, he didn't give it to her, instead he told her that Sungjae and him weren't that close to actually have each other's numbers. Sohyun looked defeated as she took her leave and it actually made him guilty.  
  
Just when will he stop being a liar, a coward, and a petty human being?  
  
His musings got interrupted when he hears his phone ring. Someone is calling him.  
  
_It's Sungjae! What now?_  
  
His heart is palpitating as he nervously answers the call.  
  
"Helloㅡ"  
  
"The trash is still here, hyung." The younger cuts him immediately. His voice sounds unusually cold. "The collector seems to forget that he should also collect here."  
  
"Uh, really?" He scratches his head in bewilderment. "I wonder whyㅡ"  
  
"When will you come home, hyung?" Sungjae cuts him again with a question. "The laundry bag is already full, too."  
  
"Uhm, I don't really know whenㅡ"  
  
"I don't want everything to come to this point but you're just making me do this, hyung."  
  
Changsub's eyebrows furrow in confusion. He can't follow their conversation at all.  
  
"What do you meanㅡ"  
  
"I saw your notebook here. I saw my name written on it. Care to explain?"  
  
"What notebㅡ" and then he loudly gasps as he covers his mouth with his hand, realization finally hitting him like a truck.  
  
Sungjae had found out about his tiny notebook!  
  
_Fuck, this can't be happening!_  
  
"Will you go home now, Lee Changsub?"  
  
_Goodbye. This is the end of me._


	8. FINAL

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the last chapter. i hope you guys will like it! enjoy reading! ❤

Eventhough it's already too late, Changsub still wants to do the last tip. He's doing it not because of his quest to make Sungjae fall for him anymore, but for him to finally be at peace so he can finally move on. Maybe if he tells Sungjae the truth, if he lets all of his unspoken feelings go once and for all, then perhaps, hopefully, he will find happiness within himself. He's ready to get broken, to feel the inevitable pain that'll come his way, and to successfully get through all of that. He's willing to experience the heartache if that means he can see Sungjae truly happy and contented.  
  
That's why he's hereㅡ standing in the middle of their shared dorm once again, trying to bravely face the younger whom, once upon a time, he'd willingly go the extra miles just to try to win his heart.  
  
This is where everything is going to end.  
  
Sungjae is quietly sitting on their couch, arms crossed over his chest, eyes looking expectantly at him. Only the coffee table is between them yet Changsub can feel the enormous distance separating them. Sungjae is still as handsome as ever, and Changsub just wants to touch his face for the first and last time, but he reminds himself that he didn't come here to do such silly things.  
  
The younger picks up the now crumpled and worn tiny notebook, his gaze never leaving Changsub. He opens it, flips it to where the blue ink started, and then raises it so Changsub can clearly see what's written on it, which he doesn't even need to read because he knows all of its content by heart. Changsub swallows the invisible lump in his throat and then he heaves a deep sigh.  
  
_This is it._  
  
"You've found my darkest secret, I see." Changsub laughs in embarrassment as he begins the conversation, trying his best to lighten up the tensed atmosphere between them. "I thought I've thrown that completely away so you don't have to see it but then, what are the odds?"  
  
Changsub laughs softly while scratching his head, eyes darting between Sungjae's serious face and the not so innocent notebook in his hand. The younger's expression doesn't even change, his eyes are still narrow and his lips are still pursed together. How can he lighten up the mood when the other person in the room doesn't want to? He wants his confession to be as smooth as it can be but Sungjae, on the other hand, is making it hard for him. Changsub's only wish is to end this properly without him crying in front of the younger.  
  
"What does this mean, hyung?" Sungjae speaks for the first time that day, his tone low, firm and quite demanding. "Why is my name written here?"  
  
"It is what it is. It's nothing complicated." Changsub tries to look directly at Sungjae's eyes but he can't stand the intensity of it, so he bows down and plays with his fingers absent-mindedly instead. "I've l-listed ways to make you... f-fall in love with m-me, b-because..." He bites his lips as he takes a deep breath, then he just screams it all in one go. "Goddammit! I'm lame so I just can't confess to you directly because I'm afraid ofㅡ yeah, so there! I tried to pursue you by doing those things so you can notice me."  
  
Changsub clenches his fists in a ball as he tries to even his shallow and quick breathing. He keeps his head bowed down, scared to meet the younger's eyes. There, he finally said it. His deepest desires that he kept hidden for a year has been out at last, floating around the four corners of their dorm, and probably falling limply into the ground as the recipient is, well, unattainable in the first place.  
  
"Why?" He hears Sungjae's deep voice, his tone becomes a little softer than earlier. "Why did you have to do all of... this?"  
  
He shuts his eyes hard to calm himself because, really? He's asking him why? After he admitted those things just now? This jerk seems to want to hear every detail from him. He feels so vulnerable baring all of himself like this, but he needs to do this.  
  
_Fine. I'll tell you everything._  
  
"Because..." He finally lifts his head up and pushes his chest out, eyes finally meeting Sungjae's deep brown orbs. If he's going to tell his feelings, he's going to tell it head on. "I'm in love with you, Yook Sungjae. I've been in love with you for over a year. I didn't mean to fall for you but... damn it! It's hard not to when you keep on being... caring and thoughtful to me! You're too good to me that's why I fell hard. I tried ignoring these stubborn feelings but I couldn't.  
  
That's why I thought I can't just keep being friends with you anymore because these feelings," He clutches the front of his sweaterㅡ right on top of his heart, his voice is starting to falter and his eyes are starting to form tears. "T-These feelings keep on growing stronger by the day, and I keep on wanting to be with you more, to hold you close not as a friend, not as a hyung, but as someone more than that.  
  
That's why I searched for ways to make you fall for me, because I'm too afraid to confess to you, too afraid to ruin my friendship with you. I can't lose that, you know? Because that's the only connection I have with you. If I screw that up, then I'll have no any other excuse to stay by your side. That's why I tried to make you fall in love with me, Sungjae, because if I succeed, then it's all good. But if I fail, I'll lose the only connection I have with you. I'll lose you forever."  
  
Changsub blinks and wipes the useless tears that have successfully escaped his eyes. He promised to himself that he will not cry in front of Sungjae but he just couldn't help it. He may look strong on the outside but he really has a lot of worries and fears inside, and it's actually really scary to let these all out in front of someone who you know will never help you take care of it. Of course he's not holding Sungjae accountable for his feelings. It's all completely on him. Sungjae just wanted to know, he never said that he'll reciprocate them.  
  
"Can't you see how big of a coward I am, Sungjae?" Changsub sniffs as he runs his hand through his hair, looking away from the younger in shame. "I'm so scared that you'll disappear in my life once you'll know that I'm in love with you. That's why I never confessed until now. You aren't supposed to know all of these because I know everything will change once you finally do. But then you've found out about that stupid notebook."  
  
He watches as the younger slowly takes all of his words in. Sungjae just quietly sits there, eyes wide and lips slightly opened in shock. He wants to smack the younger for having the audacity to even look surprised. For god's sake, he already saw and read his notebook! Didn't it occur to him that Changsub wrote all of that because he actually have feelings for him? What's still there to be stunned about?  
  
This is why he doesn't want to reveal everything. He knows the younger won't take all of these well, and he's right. The look on Sungjae's face right now tells it all. It really is not a good idea to be completely honest at all, but everything has been already said and done. Changsub sighs in defeat. There's nothing he can do now but leave and give the younger the space and time he needs.  
  
_So, how do I end all of these?_  
  
"Now that everything has been cleared," He wraps it up as he rubs the back of his neck. He shyly looks at Sungjae, and when the younger didn't say anything, he finally makes his farewell bow. "I'm going to take my leave. Sorry for making you feel uncomfortable. Text me when you go out so I can pack my things. I'll be staying in Minhyuk hyung's apartment for the time being. Until then, goodbye."  
  
Changsub turns around and makes quick steps to the front door with a heavy heart. He keeps the smile on his face but his eyes want to play some contradictory games on him. He sniffs loudly as he aggressively wipes the tears that keep on falling down his cheeks using his sleeve. The invisible hand in his heart is back again, but this time it brought a knife. Changsub bites his lips as hard as he can to endure the stabbing pain in his chest. The ache this time is a lot more painful because he knows that it's already the end. There's nothing he can do to save even their friendship.  
  
Finished. Closed. The end.  
  
This is the finale to their non-existent love story.  
  
_I wish I can find my happiness soon because, right now? It hurts so much. So much that I feel like dying._  
  
He hears a faint sound of heels tapping against the floor behind him, that's probably Sungjae going inside their bedroom. He takes a painful deep breath as he reaches the knob to open the door and finally make his exit. But even before his fingers makes contact with the bronze knob, he feels a hand firmly grabbing his arm. He releases a small yelp as he turns around. There he saw Sungjae in front of him, eyebrows furrowed, face flushed, and his jaw clenching as he release loud huffs of breaths. Changsub looks at him in confusion because what's the point of this? Aren't they finished talking? What elese does he still want?  
  
"Where do you think you're going?" Sungjae hisses as he tugs his arm.  
  
"I'm going to leave?" Changsub answers back, unsure of what to feel at these sudden turn of events. "I believe I told you that I'm leaving?"  
  
He feels more confused when he saw Sungjae forcefully closes his eyes shut, as if he's holding himself back into doing something. He can also see the angry veins forming on the younger's hands that's taking a hold of his arm, and it's actually starting to hurt now.  
  
"Hey, Sungjae, my arm. It huㅡ"  
  
"Why do you always do this?!" Sungjae yells at him, face completely red. Is it from annoyance or frustration or anger? Changsub doesn't have an idea.  
  
"Do what?" He asks in bemusement as he tugs his arm back. Sadly, the younger doesn't seem to want to let it go.  
  
"This! You always do this... this thing!" The younger snaps back at him. He watches as Sungjae violently runs his free hand through his hair. "You're always the one to start things with me but then you consistently, unfailingly, leave everything behind in the middle!"  
  
Changsub can't help the knot forming on his forehead and the confused frown forming on his lips. What is this guy talking about? Leaving everything behind in the middle? Is Sungjae talking about now? Because they were clearly done talking just a while ago. He's leaving now because they're done.  
  
"Can you please explain what you're trying to say to me." He demands, his throbbing arm being forgotten momentarily. "In simple words please. Words that I can completely understand because my heㅡ"  
  
"You. I swear. Lee Changsub."  
  
Changsub gasps loudly when Sungjae suddenly and adamantly pulls him closer. His body collides with the younger's sturdy chest, their frames completely flushed against one another, their faces are only a few centimeters apart, and he can actually feel Sungjae's hot breath fanning against face. He's suddenly getting dizzy because of their dangerous close proximity.  
  
"What I mean is," Sungjae lowly whispers. "Why do you always leave me hanging, Changsub hyung?"  
  
Sungjae's low, deep voice sends millions of chills down Changsub's spine. The way the younger is looking earnestly at him makes his knees wobble and his breath caught up in his throat.  
  
_What the hell is happening here?_  
  
"W-What are you t-talking about?" He stammers as his eyes keep on darting back to the younger's eyes and to his sinful lips. Dammit. "Let me gㅡ"  
  
"Don't you wanna know," Sungjae slowly leans closer and Changsub's heartbeat goes in an insanely rapid speed. "What I should've said to you five days ago?"  
  
_Oh._  
  
And that's when Changsub wakes up from his fictitious dream. He feels like buckets of cold water was poured on top of his head. How can he forget one of the reasons why Sungjae will never be his?  
  
He weakly detaches himself from the younger. He grabs Sungjae's hand that's still gripping his arm and strongly removes it off, and then he takes a few steps back away from the younger. He makes sure there's a safe distance separating them. All these while, Sungjae's puzzled stare never left him.  
  
"I already know about it." Changsub murmurs, hands fiddling the hem of his sweater, heart sinking deep down a black hole. "You don't have to tell it to my face. I've already accepted my loss, anyway. B-But I hope you'll be truly happy."  
  
"How did you know about it?" Sungjae curiously inquires. "I haven't even told anyone about it yet because I thought you should be the first one to know."  
  
"I've seen it, okay!" He quickly answers back, voice full of insecurities. "I don't need to hear it straight from you. It will hurt more if it comes directly from your mouth."  
  
"Wait, hold on Changsub hyung." Sungjae makes a step forward and puts a finger on his chin to lift it up. "Are we on the same page? What have you seen? What will hurt more? I don't get it."  
  
"I saw the two of you, okay? I understand everything perfectly." He looks away as he turns around, reaching for the doorknob once again before his eyes decide to shed new fresh tears. "I'm really gonna go now. Have a happy relationshㅡ"  
  
"Will you stop trying to leave!" Sungjae frustratedly orders him as he grabs his arm, and turning him around to face the younger once again. "If you leave one more time I'm gonna drag you to the bed with me."  
  
Changsub chokes on his own saliva as his eyes widen in surprise. If he doesn't leave right at this moment, he's going to have a heart attack for sure. Just what is wrong with this guy? Why is Sungjae keep on doing and saying weird things to him?  
  
"W-What are you saying!" He weakly punches Sungjae's arm as he darts his eyes everywhere but the younger. "Don't say those kind of things. Your girlfriend might get the wrong idea."  
  
"My girlfriend might what?" Sungjae asks, voice laced with disbelief and confusion. "Who's my girlfriend?"  
  
Changsub wants to punch something, or someone, or maybe this guy in front of him. He's just having this strong urge to slam his fist into something right now.  
  
"Who else is your girlfriend?" He rolls his eyes hard it actually hurts him. "Sohyun! Sohyun might get mad if she hears you saying those kind of things to me! Stop it!"  
  
"How did you know about Sohyun?" Sungjae's brows furrow, but there's a hint of a small smile forming on his lips. Changsub wants to peel it off so bad. His heart can't take this pain any longer.  
  
"Why are you doing this to me?" He feels like crying again, but he tightly holds back on his emotions. "Minhyuk hyung's girlfriend saw the two of you on a date! She took a photo and sent it to him, then Minhyuk hyung sent it to me! Happy now? Can I go now?"  
  
"No." Sungjae strongly declines as he quickly turns around and drags him back to their small living room. "You're not going anywhere. You stay here and listen to me."  
  
Changsub can't do anything but follow Sungjae. He topples on his feet as he tries to resist but the younger is too determined to make him stay. Since the younger is a hunded times stronger than him, he just let himself be dragged. Nothing will go wrong if they talk some more, right?  
  
He released a loud _oh!_ when he felt himself get softly thrown and bounces on top of their dorm's tiny couch.  
  
"Yookㅡ"  
  
"Now I get it." Sungjae crosses his arms as he walks back and forth in front of him. "The reason why you didn't come home for the last five days is because you thought Sohyun and I are together, right?"  
  
Changsub frowns as he watches Sungjae tries to stop himself from grinning like an idiot. The younger keeps on pacing back and forth as he covers his mouth while glancing at him from time to time. Is this jerk making fun of him? Is it really fun to laugh at his misseries?  
  
"Well, it's obvious that you two are dating." He flatly replies as he holds his chin up, challenging the younger to refute what he's saying. He wants to fight this guy really bad. "You two even went to Yuldong! Holding hands while smiling at each other sweetly! Ha! Couldn't you think of any other place to have your date? We went there together and then you'll go with another girl after a few days? I didn't know you're such a player."  
  
"Hold on. Let me explain, okay?" Sungjae lets a few chuckles escape his mouth before he stands still in front of Changsub. The younger looks down on him as he puts his hands on his sweatpants. "It's true that I went to have a date with Sohyun at Yuldongㅡ don't interrupt me while I'm trying to explain, Lee Changsub. Do you want to know the truth or not?"  
  
Changsub shuts his mouth immediately after. He's older than Sungjae but why does he exude such an intimidating aura?  
  
_Fine._  
  
"I went with her because she asked me to." Sungjae continues, eyes never leaving Changsub. "Back then, I was still trying to assess myself. I'm trying to figure out if these emotions I feel when you're with me are just typical feelings you feel with a friend or a hyung. So I thought, maybe if I do half the things I did with you to a different person, I'll never be confused anymore. That's why I agreed to Sohyun.  
  
You see, Changsub hyung, when I was with her, I never even felt a quarter of the emotions you make me feel when we're together." Sungjae shakes his head while laughing softly. "Funny how I only have you in my mind the whole time I'm with Sohyun. I even wished that it's you who's with me that time, but then I remembered how scared you were when we bungee jumped so I thought you might not want to return to Yuldong to have another date with meㅡ fuck. Wait. I'm getting lost."  
  
Changsub watches in bafflement when Sungjae aggressively scratches the back of his head, looking slightly lost, as he rounds the coffee table and unexpectedly sits on it, looking at him directly face to face. If Changsub can't hardly breathe earlier, now he feels like his lungs are closing on him. Sungjae truly suffocates the hell out of him.  
  
"What I'm saying is, I just wanted to know if other people can make me feel the way you do," The younger leans closer to him, eyes softly gazing at him with a lot of fondness shining in his orbs. "I found out they couldn't, that's why I told you that time that there's no one like you and I've made up my mind, because I'm finally sure what these emotions really meant. But then the next day you didn't come home."  
  
Changsub foolishly gapes as Sungjae's face becomes dejected and he is now undoubtedly pouting at him. He doesn't know what to say or do as his palms become colder and sweatier. His world is turning upside down, he's getting dizzy and totally confused at what's exactly is happening now.  
  
"I was ready to confess to you that night." Sungjae sighs as he glumly continues. "I prepared us dinner, I even sneaked us a bottle of wine, and then you suddenly told me that you're not going home? I felt so down that time, you know? What's more aggravating is you still didn't go home for days! I was so lost! I knew there was a problem but I couldn't figure it out. Good thing I saw your notebook and I made you come home."  
  
Changsub can perfectly hear what Sungjae is saying but his mind seems to not want to cooperate with him at the moment. It immediately stopped functioning when he heard the word "confess" as his heart started beating loudly against his chest again, like it ressurected back to life and he can feel the blood flowing through his veins again. But first, he needs to make sure if his assumptions are correct.  
  
"Wait. You're going to confess to me?" He beams as he tries to stop himself from jumping and devouring the younger. "Does that mean youㅡ oh my god?"  
  
"What, you just realized it now?" Sungjae cutely chuckles at him as he grabs both of his hands and holds it tightly against his own. "I'm in love with you, too, Changsub hyung. That's what I'm trying to say but you keep on trying to leave without listening to me firㅡ Hey! Wait a minute, hyung!"  
  
Changsub couldn't stop himself anymore so he just excitedly jumps on Sungjae and hugs him hard. He jumped on the younger so hard that it made them tumble down the cemented floor. He falls on top of the younger who is now laughing heartily while securely wrapping his arms around his waist.  
  
"I'm sorry I just got too excited! Sungjae, are you okay?" He checks on the younger's body if there's any injury but Sungjae keeps on giggling like there's no tomorrow that it made him stiffle a laugh, too. "Stop laughing and tell me if you're hurt!"  
  
"I'm fine, hyung! Don't worry." The younger reassures him as his arms around his waist tighten its hold even more. "So, is everything between us clear now? You're not going to run away from me anymore?"  
  
Changsub's heart is exploding with so much delight and it feels really good. He feels light, like he's floating in the air as hundreds of angels sing around him. He never felt exhilirated in his 23 years on earth, not until now. He can't believe this guy beneath him loves him as well, that Sungjae chose to be with him, and he'll never have to go through the pain of being heartbroken anymore, because his heart has finally found its other half. There's no any other news better than that.  
  
"Yes! Yes! Yes!" He burries his face on the crook of the younger's neck as he can't hide his overflowing happiness at the moment. "I love you so much, Sungjae. I don't know if the tips on the notebook really worked but I'm so glad that you feel the same way, too."  
  
"You actually didn't have to do all of that, Changsub hyung." He feels Sungjae kiss the top of his head as his hands softly carress his waist. "I feel like I'll still fall in love with you no matter what you do, because you're just so fascinating and adorable and endearing and justㅡ"  
  
Sungjae heaves a deep sigh, and then he burries his face in his hair. "I love you, hyung. But I'm glad you did all of those things on your notebook because I wouldn't have my eyes opened if you didn't. I thought I'm just into you because I never had an older brother to grow up with. But then, I started to want to be with you more, to laugh with you more, to hold your hand and hug you every now and then. I just want to keep you here with me. I really like having you around, Changsub hyung. I feel at ease when you're here. Even if you're just sitting beside me without saying anything, it's fine. You being hereㅡ"  
  
"Stop! It's too much!" He lightly slaps the younger's chest in embarrassment. Changsub feels his face heating up and he burries it on the Sungjae's neck even more. "You're flattering me so much. Stop."  
  
"But I wanna tell you how much I love you."  
  
Changsub doesn't know if he wants to cry or laugh because of the overflowing happiness he's feeling right now. Is this what it feels to be complete? Because there really is nothing else to describe what he's feeling right now other than that.  
  
He slowly lifts up his face and Sungjae's loving gaze welcomes him. Changsub stares at the gorgeous face in front him, realizing that he'll wake up from this view from now on, which makes him break into a big bashful smile.  
  
"I love you too, Yook Sungjae." The younger lovingly smiles back at him. "I love you! I love you! I love you!"  
  
He lies his head on top of the younger's chest and listens to the sound of Sungjae's erratic heartbeat. They stay like that for a couple of minutes, just basking in the silence of their surroundings while savoring the lovely and warm atmosphere. There's nothing in this world that Changsub would trade this precious moment for.  
  
_I'm finally happy._  
  
His silent reveling is disturbed when he feels a gentle tap on his shoulder. He looks up to see Sungjae's smiling face again, but there's something different in his smile this time that he can't quite figure out.  
  
"Hmmm, why?"  
  
"Don't you think it's time for us to... you know," Changsub watches Sungjae purses his lips and juts it out towards him. "Kiss?"  
  
_Ah, of course! How could I forget that?_  
  
Changsub gives Sungjae a toothy grin as he pulls himself up and gently cups the younger's face. He saw Sungjae nervously gulps as he waits for his next move. Changsub closes his eyes as he plants a big wet kiss on the younger's left cheek. Then he turns Sungjae's face so he could smooch his other cheek. Lastly, he raises his head, and then he plants a numerous amount of kisses on the younger's forehead. Who would believe that he can do this thing to Sungjae now? It's like a dream come true.  
  
He places his head on top of the younger's chest again as soon as he finished peppering kisses on Sungjae's face. He's having his quiet time again when he feels Sungjae's chest bubbling in laughter.  
  
"See, you always do that, Lee Changsub."  
  
"What nowㅡ"  
  
He squeals rather loudly when Sungjae suddenly turns their places around. It was so quick that he didn't realize what just happened, but the younger is now on top of him, hands placed on both sides of his head. Changsub's breathing starts to quicken, his stomach becoming a pit of nerves as Sungjae slowly leans closer until their noses are touching.  
  
"You just always, consistently, unfailingly leave me hanging." He locks gazes with Sungjae's intense brown orbs as the younger raises one of his hands and tenderly run its knuckles along his cheek. "I'm talking about this kind of kiss, Lee Changsub."  
  
And then it happens.  
  
Changsub softly gasps as he feels Sungjae's plump lips quickly capture his own plush ones in a hungry kiss. _Oh my god, we're really doing this!_ The younger doesn't waste time as he cups his jaw and begins to move his soft and warm lips against his own. Changsub closes his eyes as Sungjae slowly nibbles on his lower lip, making the butterflies in his stomach go in an utter chaos. He subconsciously raises his hands and places it on the younger's neck, ruffling and lightly tugging his hair in the process. Changsub finally kisses back with equal fervor, languidly molding their lips together as they move in a perfect harmony, tasting the sweetness of one another.  
  
They continue ravishing each other's lips, pouring all the love and passion that they can give. Changsub couldn't help but smile in the kiss, because everything just feels perfect. Actually, scratch that. Everything is perfect because he's with Sungjae. Eventhough they're not in some fancy place and he's just lying on their living room's dirty cold floor as his back is starting to hurt, it still is the best moment ever because Sungjae is softly carressing his cheek while kissing him and that's enough for him.  
  
_I love him so much._  
  
As the need to breathe is becoming a major problem, Sungjae unwillingly slows down. With one more nibble on Changsub's upper lip, he ends the kiss. He slowly opens his eyes and he almost let out a sob as Sungjae's loving gaze welcomes him once more. Seriously, he'll probably never get used to the younger staring at him like that, but he's not complaining. He's actually pleased to see as if millions of stars are shining brightly on that pair of eyes while looking at him. He lovingly pulls Sungjae closer as he hugs him tight. He will forever keep this day in his heartㅡ the day where he finally found his true happiness.  
  
There really is no exact formula in love. There are no accurate guidelines that will guarantee you a successful outcome. There are no exact timelines to be measured if you want to know when is he gonna love you back, or if he's even gonna love you at all. No matter how much effort you put trying to lure him in, if he doesn't want you, then everything will just go to waste. Love works in such a way that you cannot predict, you cannot control, and most importantly, you cannot force.  
  
But Changsub believes that love goes well with a bit of luck. It gives an exciting twist to the game. So, maybe if you're lucky enough, the one you love might look back at you one day, might talk to you one day, might hold your hand one day, or might love you back one day. It all really comes down to fate, anyway.  
  
Because in the end, love is still beyond our control, and that's the beauty of it.

-END-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and it's done!! wait, i'm gonna cry first lol. i'm gonna rant first. do y'all know how hard it is for me to write using changsub's point of view? i swear i almost use sungjae's to just reveal everything hahaha. i've always used yook's pov on my fics so it's hard when i ssuddenly used changsub's sbsbsgsja okay rant over lol.
> 
> if anyone wants to know, here's the [ article ](HTTPS://WWW.HERCAMPUS.COM/SEX-RELATIONSHIPS/DATING/7-SCIENTIFICALLY-PROVEN-WAYS-MAKE-HIM-FALL-YOU) where i got the inspiration in making this fic. i just twisted it to my convenience hehehe. 
> 
> thank you guys or being with me until now! thank you for all of you who subscribed and left comments and kudos! i appreciate all of it!! thank you thank you thank you so much for reading! let's all love and support btob!! ❤


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